IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think it’s always better to live in the rented accommodation. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of it.

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The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that always well to live in a
home
Use synonyms
 apartment. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of
home
Use synonyms
 apartments. On the one hand, these days
people
Use synonyms
 love to live in their
home
Use synonyms
 apartments because they are moving to their occupation other cities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they have to move to their
home
Use synonyms
 so they buy for
rent
Use synonyms
home
Use synonyms
 other cities.
People
Use synonyms
 think it is better for them. Because they are not high cost and they very easy to buy it.
For example
Linking Words
, my sister
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
rent
Use synonyms
 a
house
Use synonyms
 after marriage. They are told me that no more cost and inside the
house
Use synonyms
 is available
also
Linking Words
 furniture available. It is convenient for them and their pocket
money
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if they purchase their own
home
Use synonyms
 they have to spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 on the
home
Use synonyms
 and furniture.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they are very convenient for living life living
rent
Use synonyms
 a
house
Use synonyms
 for more than own
house
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 love to live in a
home
Use synonyms
 apartment but it is many rules about
house
Use synonyms
 owners.
such
Linking Words
 as, they have to keep
rent
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 for six or seven months. And they have to care about the
house
Use synonyms
 property.
For example
Linking Words
, it is some
perniture
Correct your spelling
furniture
 or
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 damage they
hsve
Correct your spelling
have
 to pay
money
Use synonyms
it
Change preposition
for it
show examples
.
Olso
Correct your spelling
Also
show examples
 they can not even grow
Add an article
the plant
show examples
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
 outside. As a
consquenence
Correct your spelling
consequence
, they have to live like
a the
Choose an article
a
show examples
 prison.
That is
Linking Words
 why,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that it is not freedom
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
rent
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
. In conclusion, these days
people
Use synonyms
 believe that renting a
house
Use synonyms
 more better. in my perspective, it has many pros like less pocket
money
Use synonyms
. and on the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 they buy a
Use synonyms
rent
Replace the word
rented
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 which
houses
Verb problem
means
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 do not have enough freedom.
therefore
Linking Words
, buying
rent
Use synonyms
house
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has many
prose
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons.

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Structure
It's important to maintain a clear structure in your essay. Introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should be distinct, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
Linking
To improve coherence, try to use a variety of linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before.
Content
For task achievement, ensure that you directly address the topic and discuss both advantages and disadvantages thoroughly. Developing each point with specific examples or reasons will make your arguments more convincing.
Grammar
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Simple, clear sentences are preferable to complex ones that are difficult to understand. This will also help in making your ideas more comprehensible.
Balance
To enhance your score, work on providing a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument equally. This demonstrates an understanding of the topic and an ability to evaluate different perspectives.
Examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, such as the personal story about your sister, which helps illustrate your arguments effectively.
Structure
Good attempt at introducing the topic and providing a conclusion, which are essential parts of essay structure.
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