Some people think it’s always better to live in the rented accommodation. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of it.

The majority of
people
believe that always well to live in a
home
apartment. In
this
essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of
home
apartments. On the one hand, these days
people
love to live in their
home
apartments because they are moving to their occupation other cities.
Therefore
, they have to move to their
home
so they buy for
rent
home
other cities.
People
think it is better for them. Because they are not high cost and they very easy to buy it.
For example
, my sister
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
rent
a
house
after marriage. They are told me that no more cost and inside the
house
is available
also
furniture available. It is convenient for them and their pocket
money
.
Moreover
, if they purchase their own
home
they have to spend a lot of
money
on the
home
and furniture.
Therefore
they are very convenient for living life living
rent
a
house
for more than own
house
.
On the other hand
,
people
love to live in a
home
apartment but it is many rules about
house
owners.
such
as, they have to keep
rent
money
for six or seven months. And they have to care about the
house
property.
For example
, it is some
perniture
Correct your spelling
furniture
or
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
damage they
hsve
Correct your spelling
have
to pay
money
it
Change preposition
for it
show examples
.
Olso
Correct your spelling
Also
show examples
they can not even grow
Add an article
the plant
show examples
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
outside. As a
consquenence
Correct your spelling
consequence
, they have to live like
a the
Choose an article
a
show examples
prison.
That is
why,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that it is not freedom
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
rent
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
. In conclusion, these days
people
believe that renting a
house
more better. in my perspective, it has many pros like less pocket
money
. and on the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
they buy a
rent
Replace the word
rented
show examples
house
which
houses
Verb problem
means
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
do not have enough freedom.
therefore
, buying
rent
house
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has many
prose
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
and cons.
Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on

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Structure
It's important to maintain a clear structure in your essay. Introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should be distinct, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
Linking
To improve coherence, try to use a variety of linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before.
Content
For task achievement, ensure that you directly address the topic and discuss both advantages and disadvantages thoroughly. Developing each point with specific examples or reasons will make your arguments more convincing.
Grammar
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Simple, clear sentences are preferable to complex ones that are difficult to understand. This will also help in making your ideas more comprehensible.
Balance
To enhance your score, work on providing a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument equally. This demonstrates an understanding of the topic and an ability to evaluate different perspectives.
Examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, such as the personal story about your sister, which helps illustrate your arguments effectively.
Structure
Good attempt at introducing the topic and providing a conclusion, which are essential parts of essay structure.

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