Some people think it’s always better to live in the rented accommodation. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of it.
The majority of
people
believe that always well to live in a home
apartment. In this
essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of home
apartments.
On the one hand, these days people
love to live in their home
apartments because they are moving to their occupation other cities. Therefore
, they have to move to their home
so they buy for rent
home
other cities. People
think it is better for them. Because they are not high cost and they very easy to buy it. For example
, my sister buy
Change the verb form
buys
rent
a house
after marriage. They are told me that no more cost and inside the house
is available also
furniture available. It is convenient for them and their pocket money
. Moreover
, if they purchase their own home
they have to spend a lot of money
on the home
and furniture. Therefore
they are very convenient for living life living rent
a house
for more than own house
.
On the other hand
, people
love to live in a home
apartment but it is many rules about house
owners. such
as, they have to keep rent
money
for six or seven months. And they have to care about the house
property.For example
, it is some perniture
or Correct your spelling
furniture
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
to
damage they Correct your spelling
too
hsve
to pay Correct your spelling
have
money
it
. Change preposition
for it
Olso
they can not even grow Correct your spelling
Also
Add an article
the plant
plant
outside. As a Fix the agreement mistake
plants
consquenence
, they have to live like Correct your spelling
consequence
a the
prison. Choose an article
a
That is
why, i
think that it is not freedom Change the capitalization
I
for
Change preposition
to
rent
house
.
In conclusion, these days Correct article usage
a house
people
believe that renting a house
more better. in my perspective, it has many pros like less pocket money
. and on the other side
they buy a Add a comma
side,
rent
Replace the word
rented
house
which houses
Verb problem
means
their
do not have enough freedom.Correct pronoun usage
they
therefore
, buying rent
house
it
has many Correct pronoun usage
apply
prose
and cons.Correct your spelling
pros
Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on
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Structure
It's important to maintain a clear structure in your essay. Introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should be distinct, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
Linking
To improve coherence, try to use a variety of linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before.
Content
For task achievement, ensure that you directly address the topic and discuss both advantages and disadvantages thoroughly. Developing each point with specific examples or reasons will make your arguments more convincing.
Grammar
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Simple, clear sentences are preferable to complex ones that are difficult to understand. This will also help in making your ideas more comprehensible.
Balance
To enhance your score, work on providing a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument equally. This demonstrates an understanding of the topic and an ability to evaluate different perspectives.
Examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, such as the personal story about your sister, which helps illustrate your arguments effectively.
Structure
Good attempt at introducing the topic and providing a conclusion, which are essential parts of essay structure.