Some people think that schools should invest more money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spent on teachers. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In today’s modern society, there is a debate about whether schools should spend money on improving
technology
devices
such
as computers or invest heavily in skilled
teachers
. Both sides have valid arguments,
however
, in my point of view, a balance of both is essential for the development of
students
. The idea of investing in
technology
is crucial for preparing
students
for the future workforce, as
technology
is an integral part of modern society. By providing more computers and digital devices,
students
will have easy access to the internet which offers them a huge range of knowledge and
also
helps them to get used to the usage of several computer tasks
such
as Word, Excel and PowerPoint. These tasks are always used in any field of jobs and need a long period to be skilful.
Moreover
,
technology
access can enhance a student's learning experience and facilitate personalized learning.
Besides
the original lecture,
students
not only can have equipment to self-study, but
also
broaden their knowledge via internet searching.
On the other hand
, advocates for investing in
teachers
argue that the quality of education depends heavily on dedicated and expert educators. They believe that hiring and retaining qualified
teachers
, providing them with ongoing professional development and reducing the class size can significantly improve the
overall
quality of student academic performances.
Furthermore
, good
teachers
can not be replaced by
technology
, because they have the ability to guide, inspire and motivate
students
. In my view,
teachers
and
technology
play a vital role in education.
While
technology
can enhance the learning process and give a wealth of information access,
this
should be complemented with guidance and support from
teachers
.
Therefore
, a balanced approach is necessary. In conclusion,
while
there are some arguments between investing in
technology
devices and
teachers
, a balanced approach for both is essential to improve the
overall
development of education.
Students
should be equipped with a modern learning environment to utilize
technology
effectively
while
also
nurturing by the guidance and mentorship of dedicated and professional
teachers
.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Consider including more specific examples and evidence to support each viewpoint to enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and extensively developed throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay's topic and structure.
task achievement
You've addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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