According to some people, it would be better if industries are established in regions outside the urban area. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages.
Today, some individuals argue that it would be preferable that
factories
be constructed outside of big cities
. This
essay will suggest that pollution cuts and the reduction in industrial transportation costs are the main benefits of this
situation while
spending a lot
of time
on roads for workers
and the threat of village extinction are the main drawbacks.
First of all, by relocating industries
to outside cities
, the amount of emission that is
produced by them will be reduced. Since most factories
produce a lot
of carbon dioxide annually and emit it into the atmosphere, if they are built outside of metropolises, the amount of air pollution in cities
will be cut significantly. Second of all, transporting the initial materials' cost is one of the challenging issues that every industry is facing. If heavy industries
' workplaces are situated near mines or mineral materials' excavation sites
, the cost of transportation will decrease dramatically and those factories
can use this
money in their other sectors. Gas power plants are the relevant example that are constructed near petroleum sites
where they use gas for burning petrol without spending the logistics costs.
However
, the vast majority of workers
and employees who work in these sites
spend their time
on the roads. Due to
the long distance between working sites
and workers
' houses, most employees and workers
spend their time
traveling
to work. Change the spelling
travelling
As a consequence
, they lose their energy and will feel exhausted as well as
facing serious health problems. Furthermore
, the rural areas
and agricultural businesses in cities
would be extinct because of the building of different factories
. A lot
of empty fields are needed for expanding industries
, so constructing these things not only destroys rural areas
but also
due to
the usage of empty lands, the agriculture would die. As a result
, cities
will be crowded because of the immigration of people who live in rural areas
. For example
, Isfahan is one of the crowded cities
in Iran because of moving people from villages to this
city due to
industrialization.
In conclusion, moving industries
from big cities
to rural areas
has its own advantages and disadvantages. Although
reducing air pollution and transporting goods' costs are the main benefits, spending a lot
of time
on roads and the destruction of villages are the main drawbacks.Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay logically progresses from the introduction to the conclusion, making sure each paragraph has a clear central idea can improve your overall coherence.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, try to develop your arguments further with more diverse examples and a deeper analysis of impacts.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to enhance the connectivity between your sentences and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to add complexity and flow to your writing.
task achievement
You've done well in providing relevant examples, but adding statistics or hypothetical scenarios can enrich your argumentation.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, ensuring a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were effectively used to frame your argument.
task achievement
You succeeded in using relevant examples to support your main points, enhancing the persuasive quality of your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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