According to some people, it would be better if industries are established in regions outside the urban area. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages.

Today, some individuals argue that it would be preferable that
factories
be constructed outside of big
cities
.
This
essay will suggest that pollution cuts and the reduction in industrial transportation costs are the main benefits of
this
situation
while
spending a
lot
of
time
on roads for
workers
and the threat of village extinction are the main drawbacks. First of all, by relocating
industries
to outside
cities
, the amount of emission
that is
produced by them will be reduced. Since most
factories
produce a
lot
of carbon dioxide annually and emit it into the atmosphere, if they are built outside of metropolises, the amount of air pollution in
cities
will be cut significantly. Second of all, transporting the initial materials' cost is one of the challenging issues that every industry is facing. If heavy
industries
' workplaces are situated near mines or mineral materials' excavation
sites
, the cost of transportation will decrease dramatically and those
factories
can use
this
money in their other sectors. Gas power plants are the relevant example that are constructed near petroleum
sites
where they use gas for burning petrol without spending the logistics costs.
However
, the vast majority of
workers
and employees who work in these
sites
spend their
time
on the roads.
Due to
the long distance between working
sites
and
workers
' houses, most employees and
workers
spend their
time
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to work.
As a consequence
, they lose their energy and will feel exhausted
as well as
facing serious health problems.
Furthermore
, the rural
areas
and agricultural businesses in
cities
would be extinct because of the building of different
factories
. A
lot
of empty fields are needed for expanding
industries
, so constructing these things not only destroys rural
areas
but
also
due to
the usage of empty lands, the agriculture would die.
As a result
,
cities
will be crowded because of the immigration of people who live in rural
areas
.
For example
, Isfahan is one of the crowded
cities
in Iran because of moving people from villages to
this
city
due to
industrialization. In conclusion, moving
industries
from big
cities
to rural
areas
has its own advantages and disadvantages.
Although
reducing air pollution and transporting goods' costs are the main benefits, spending a
lot
of
time
on roads and the destruction of villages are the main drawbacks.
Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay logically progresses from the introduction to the conclusion, making sure each paragraph has a clear central idea can improve your overall coherence.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, try to develop your arguments further with more diverse examples and a deeper analysis of impacts.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to enhance the connectivity between your sentences and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to add complexity and flow to your writing.
task achievement
You've done well in providing relevant examples, but adding statistics or hypothetical scenarios can enrich your argumentation.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, ensuring a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were effectively used to frame your argument.
task achievement
You succeeded in using relevant examples to support your main points, enhancing the persuasive quality of your essay.

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