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Writing Samples
Band 6

Taxing Industries, corporates and individuals based on their environmental footprint is the only way to save the environment. Do you agree with the statement? Give your opinion.

#industries #corporates #individuals #footprint #environment
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Concerning
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
 the
environment
 has become a new trend in the 21st century. But is basing taxing industries, corporations and individuals on their environmental footprints the only way to save the
environment
? I believe, yes. As long as these three resources cause the most harm to the
environment
 , it's their task to fix it. All our lives depend on the water in the oceans. It cleans the air we breathe, it gives the water we drink and it provides us with the food we eat.
Although
this
 information is commonly known, it doesn't help with the pollution issue. The owners of big corporates and even I prefer
an easier and cheaper ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
an easier and cheaper way
easier and cheaper ways
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 of dealing with waste. Throwing trash or pouring oils and dirty water in the ocean doesn't seem to be so destroying until it leads to climate change, the death or migration of marine life and the melting of the icebergs that used to stay still for centuries.
Moreover
, nobody cares about forests, that are continuously being cut out and burned out all around the world. Obviously, nobody is planting new trees there and a lot of industries build factories and businesses in the places where trees used to grow before. Of course, it doesn't work in the favour of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 nowadays. In summary, I would like to say, that I genuinely believe in our generation and that we will come to realise all the harm we are causing our planet and change our priorities and habits as long as it is not too late. Sorting out trash at your home and buying products made with olive oil
instead
 of palm oil is already a huge help
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 nature.
Submitted by mariarohulchyk on

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Balance and Depth
To further enhance your essay, consider expanding on the alternatives to taxation as a means to address environmental concerns. This could provide a more balanced view and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure introductory and concluding paragraphs explicitly address the essay prompt to strengthen task achievement. Although you've clearly taken a stance, reinforcing your viewpoint in these sections can make your argument more persuasive.
Specific Examples
Including specific examples or case studies could bolster your argument, making it more compelling. While you've covered general issues well, adding real-world instances where taxation or other measures have had a positive or negative effect would provide stronger support for your claims.
Topic Relevance
Your essay effectively links environmental damage to the need for responsible actions by industries, corporations, and individuals, highlighting the urgency of the situation.
Logical Structure
You have done well to organize your essay with a clear structure that logically progresses from introducing the problem to suggesting solutions.
Persuasive Language
The use of persuasive language to advocate for environmental responsibility is commendable and enhances the impact of your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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