In some countries, some people are renting accomodation, while other are buying their own homes. Does renting accomodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place?
In the modern world, there are so many
people
struggling to purchase their own homes, but others choose to rent Use synonyms
accommodation
, Use synonyms
instead
. both of the two ways have their own advantages and disadvantages. In my perspective, I think renting Linking Words
accommodation
has benefits that outweigh its drawbacks. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will discuss it.
Linking Words
To begin
with, there is Linking Words
one
main reason that renting Use synonyms
accommodation
actually benefits significantly for citizens which comes from the price of it. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
this
reason, nowadays, the prices of buying Linking Words
houses
are escalating every day, Use synonyms
then
they directly Linking Words
cause
more and more Wrong verb form
causing
people
not to be able to afford their own Use synonyms
houses
or flats, cite an example, In Korea, the value of a place in the city exceeds over 1 millions dollars which is unthinkable for ordinary employees. Use synonyms
As a result
, renting becomes an ideal solution for Linking Words
people
with a better price, Use synonyms
people
will no longer be under pressure to buy a house that they may have to work entirely for their life Use synonyms
also
not able to afford. Linking Words
In addition
to prices, living in a rented place can help them become more mobilizable to move away or relocate their work easier not like permanent Linking Words
houses
Use synonyms
while
you have to sell them before moving out. Linking Words
Besides
, renters Linking Words
also
reduce the amount of bills for roads, facilities, and infrastructures which will be paid by lordlands. Because of those benefits, there are so many Linking Words
people
choosing to rent over purchase Use synonyms
one
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, for long-term vision, taking a temporary flat might be not as economical as buying Linking Words
one
. Use synonyms
For example
, if you choose to buy an estate, the value of it will increase over time which is a great help for their children later on, Linking Words
while
the world becomes more competitive each year. Linking Words
Furthermore
, for those who want to settle down permanently, buying their own homes will outweigh renting Linking Words
while
in a given time, facilities will be worn out Linking Words
then
they do not need to move out too frequently. In spite of these advantages of buying a house, renting a place is still a great idea for Linking Words
such
a competitive society as now, they will take off the pressure of affording Linking Words
accommodation
and enjoy their life in the present, and use most of their money to invest in children's education.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
Although
buying a house can bring a lot of positive things Linking Words
such
as economic aspects, estates for their children, and a permanent settlement, renting Linking Words
one
may outweigh Use synonyms
this
with a better affordable ability, the reduction of annual bills for bills, and especially taking off the pressure of buying Linking Words
houses
as many Use synonyms
people
.Use synonyms
Submitted by nguyenhuyhoa1506 on
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General
Ensure clarity and precision in your argumentation. Although your essay is strong, some points can be articulated more clearly to avoid any ambiguity. This will enhance the reader's understanding and engagement.
Task Achievement
In discussions of advantages and disadvantages, maintaining balanced coverage ensures a well-rounded argument. While your essay leans towards supporting renting, consider adding more detail about the advantages of buying to fully address the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices and transition words. While your essay is well-structured, utilizing a broader range of linguistic tools will enhance the flow and coherence between ideas.
Structure
You provided a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Use of Examples
Your inclusion of examples, such as the housing market in Korea, adds relevance and depth to your argument, effectively supporting your main points.
Tone & Engagement
The personal tone and engagement with the topic provide an appealing readability, making your argument relatable and accessible.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.