IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that older, more traditional buildings in cities should be preserved. Others believe that these buildings should be demolished and new ones built in their place. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #buildings #cities #ones #place
Over the years, mankind has decided to build
buildings
 with various materials, and
it is clear that
 these materials are improving day by day.
Although
 old and traditional
buildings
 are durable and can be used for different purposes, some people believe that it is better to demolish old
buildings
 and build new ones.
Also
, some people believe that these
buildings
 can be restored, and for me, old public
buildings
 should not be demolished, the following two specific arguments will support my position.
Above all
, it comes to mind that old
buildings
 are part of the culture and history of every nation.
Besides
, destroying these
buildings
 is like removing the people from their civilization and it is necessary to show the future generations how the old
buildings
 were built. Another compelling reason is that the construction of modern
buildings
 next to old
buildings
 can create a striking and unique image of the
city
.
This
 is an opportunity to increase the number of tourists visiting the
city
 and increase the state's income. Barcelona, ​​
for example
, is a historic
city
 with many old
buildings
, but the government has not demolished any of them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
instead
 restored them.
In addition
, modern public
buildings
 were built next to old
buildings
, making the
city
's appearance unique. To sum it all up, for all the above reasons, I believe that preserving old
buildings
 not only showcases the culture and history of a country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 improves the economy.
Therefore
, it is better to restore these
buildings
 than to demolish them.
However
,
this
 was just a story, and there are more valid reasons for reflection. May all countries leave their historical
buildings
 for future generations.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Keep the introduction concise and directly respond to the task at hand. Instead of a general statement about materials, straightaway introduce the topic of preserving old buildings versus constructing new ones.
Examples
Make sure your examples are specific and directly support your arguments. Barcelona was mentioned, but more detail on how exactly it benefits from preserving old buildings would strengthen your argument.
Language
Use a mix of complex structures and vocabulary to enhance your argument and demonstrate linguistic capability. While your essay is well-structured, experimenting with more advanced sentence structures can further improve your score.
Balanced Argument
You've provided a well-structured argument that balances both sides of the discussion before stating your own opinion, which is excellent for task response.
Coherence and Structure
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with a good use of paragraphs, each dedicated to a different point of view or part of the discussion, aiding in readability and coherence.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reaffirms your stance, giving your essay a strong ending.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!