In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disanvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #disanvantages #message

Whether

up bringing

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upbringing

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youngester

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youngster

youngsters

with the basic thought that achieving

gaols

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goals

show examples

is only possible

trough

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through

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hard-working or not is a substantial subject of public debate and concern.

This

common belief

have

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has

show examples

a number of pros and cons with regard to

importance

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the importance

show examples

of raising children. In the following

assey

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essay

first

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the first

show examples

paraghraph

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paragraph

will

indecate

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indicate

to merits

as well as

second

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the second

show examples

one

will give some information about

drawbacks

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the drawbacks

show examples

this

clam

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claim

show examples

. On the

one

hand, being a

hard-worker

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hard worker

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is by far

one

of the most vital features that each person who wants success

need

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needs

show examples

to adhere

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to.

show examples

Spesifically

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Specifically

this

cualification

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qualification

is basically grounded on

Correct article usage

an indivial`s

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indivial`s

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individual's

individuals

behaviors

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behaviours

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and habits learnt in childhood era. Having the

duety

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duty

to form

characteristic

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characteristics

show examples

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show examples

young

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a young

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ages

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age

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parent

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parents

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are the

one

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ones

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to transform

this

massage

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message

show examples

of being a persuasive person to their

loving

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loved

show examples

ones.

This

is the

initail

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initial

step for each humankind to climb the career ladder in

the

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apply

show examples

life on the count of the fact that they have been

rasied

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raised

by a rich and

perstigious

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prestigious

background.

Likewise

this

mindset

help

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helps

show examples

poeple

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people

to become more and more invested in their lifestyle,

hence

, they are more likely to look forward to

gain

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gaining

show examples

even more constructive approaches to what they want. Traditional cultures,

on the other hand

, might not follow the state-of-the-art data of psychology

scince

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science

since

which

have

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has

show examples

been focused on the crucial role of parenting in the formation of

people

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people's

show examples

future. Some of those steriotype

statments

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statements

including

this

old saying"

the

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apply

show examples

success is the

ripen

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ripened

show examples

fruit of the hard-working tree" might lead to the

farther

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further

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unwelcoming impacts

cuased

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caused

parents

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parents'

parent's

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forceful treatments.

Although

the youth have

acheived

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achieved

the rewarding aspect of their activities,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

childhood may

became

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become

show examples

truamatizing

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traumatising

, full of stress, and depression, to name but a

faw

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few

Moreover

, it is

also

likey

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likely

show examples

to happen that the person

give

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gives

show examples

up all the aims in life in mid ages owing to lack of interest and

inthusiasem

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enthusiasm

Therefor

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Therefore

show examples

, not only are

the

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apply

show examples

emphesising

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emphasising

emphasizing

and being hard on

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

not always have advantages, but

also

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they also

show examples

it has

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

myriad

Add an article

a myriad

show examples

of downsides. In conclusion, from

ancient

Correct article usage

an ancient

show examples

point of

view

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view,

show examples

it is of

attmost

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utmost

impartance

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importance

show examples

advantages and disadvantages of parental care which have

tought

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taught

adolescent and youth to be very

furiouse

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furious

furiously

in their path

Change preposition

show examples

achieving good.

This

assey

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assay

essay

argued that

despit

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despite

the

structive

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structure

personality of people who get used to

this

manner, it might be harmful and lead to psychological diseases and

issuse

Correct your spelling

issues

Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on Sun Apr 14 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, but could benefit from clearer, more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Try to incorporate real-life scenarios or more detailed hypotheses to make your points more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors. While minor errors are acceptable, frequent mistakes can distract the reader and make your arguments less clear. Consider revising phrases and checking for commonly confused words.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on the overall flow of your essay. Using linking words effectively can help create a smoother transition between ideas and improve the logical structure of your essay. Aim for variety in your choice of conjunctions and transitional phrases.

Task Achievement

You took a well-balanced approach, covering both sides of the argument, which showcases your ability to analyze the topic from multiple perspectives.

Coherence & Cohesion

The structure of your essay (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion) adheres to the conventional essay format, which helps in organizing your thoughts and presenting them in a logical manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
73Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

397 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disanvantages of giving children this message?

Your opinion

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

Some people think that school and government should take responsibility to transport children to school. While some people think that parents should get children to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that youngsters should get involved in unpaid work, while others oppose as it may affect their career. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include and relevant examples.