IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people say that modern innovation brings about more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #innovation
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In
this
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 modern era, people are more interested in modern discoveries and one of the main reasons behind
that is
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 people want to save their time and resources to get their work done. I believe, every new
innovation
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 brings challenges but there are high
benefits
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 associated with every modern
innovation
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. Recently, after the Covid, there have been many discoveries that we have experienced and the aim of any modern
innovation
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 is to solve or simplify an existing problem.
For example
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, there were no platforms available for online grocery shopping but recently after the Covid, we can see that there are many new platforms available to order groceries online. These kinds of innovations are intended to simplify our lives.
Moreover
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, there are always negative scenarios associated with these kinds of discoveries but there are more essential
benefits
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 as compared to the
problems
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. Every discovery or
innovation
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 experiences
problems
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 but the
problems
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 allow the creators to release a better version of their product.
For example
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, Uber Eats faced a lot of
problems
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 in 2019 when drivers were working for two food delivery apps at the same time and many customers received the wrong food parcels. These
problems
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 were justified and were helpful to the app. After some time, they were able to improve their product so that users don't suffer from the same problem. In conclusion, I believe there are always some
problems
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 with modern innovations but the
benefits
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 overcome the negative scenarios.
Furthermore
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,
problems
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 help the companies to repair their product and provide a cleaner version to customers so that they can enjoy the
benefits
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.
Submitted by tirththakkar23 on

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coherence
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain clarity throughout the essay.
task response
Expand your argument by discussing potential drawbacks in more detail, providing a more balanced viewpoint.
coherence
Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
task response
Include a wider range of examples to support your argument, thus strengthening your essay’s persuasiveness.
structure
You have demonstrated a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
examples
Your examples are relevant and illustrate your points effectively.
understanding
You have effectively articulated your viewpoint throughout the essay, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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