Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities.  What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

In recent years, a noticeable trend has emerged wherein young individuals are increasingly abandoning their rural roots in
favor
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favour
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of urban life for work or educational purposes.
This
migration is propelled by several factors, and
while
it presents undeniable benefits, it
also
carries significant drawbacks. One primary reason for
this
rural-to-urban exodus is the allure of better educational
opportunities
in
cities
. Urban areas typically boast a plethora of esteemed universities, specialized colleges, and vocational institutions, offering a diverse range of academic programs and cutting-edge research
opportunities
.
Additionally
,
cities
provide access to advanced facilities and resources, enhancing the quality of education and broadening
horizons
Correct article usage
the horizons
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for intellectual growth.
Moreover
,
cities
serve as economic powerhouses, offering abundant employment
opportunities
across various sectors. Young individuals are drawn to urban
centers
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centres
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by the promise of lucrative careers, professional advancement, and the opportunity to realize their aspirations. The dynamic nature of urban economies fosters innovation and entrepreneurship, providing fertile ground for young talents to thrive and contribute to societal progress.
However
,
this
migration trend is not without its challenges. The exorbitant cost of living in
cities
poses a significant obstacle, with high rents, steep living expenses, and soaring property prices often straining the finances of young migrants, especially those in the early stages of their careers or studies.
Additionally
, the intense competition prevalent in urban job markets can lead to heightened stress levels and feelings of inadequacy among young migrants, exacerbating mental health issues. In conclusion,
while
the migration of young people from rural areas to
cities
offers numerous advantages in terms of educational, employment, and lifestyle
opportunities
, it
also
presents significant challenges
such
as high living costs and heightened competition.
Submitted by feruzayla2006 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to directly address both questions posed by elaborating equally on the reasons for young people moving to cities and discussing in depth whether the advantages outweigh the drawbacks.
Coherence Cohesion
Incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. While your coherence is strong, diversifying your sentence construction could elevate your writing.
Task Achievement
While discussing advantages and drawbacks, include specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and grounded in reality.
Coherence Cohesion
You've successfully established a clear structure with a recognizable introduction, logical progression, and concluding summary, effectively guiding the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and addresses the key points with a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages, reflecting well on your comprehensive understanding.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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