Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some considered it to be a negative development. While others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Work and study both are important for everyone to survive in
this
competitive world. Most people
travel long distances
to their jobs or college
and I think this
is a positive development because it benefits us in various ways. This
essay will provide relevant instances and a conclusion to support my view.
There are many people
who get their jobs at a remote location but there are no other options for them other than travelling to their office. From my understanding, this
teaches them to value their job and travelling daily keeps them motivated to complete their work as early as possible so that they can commute back to their home earlier. Also
, there are many students who want to study in their interested colleges but they have to travel long distances
for that. For example
, I got admission to my college
which was 2 hours away but my interest for
that Change preposition
in
college
motivated me to travel and this
quality helped me in my professional career as well so I think this
is a positive development.
On the other hand
, there are many people
who select other colleges or are interested in jobs near to
their homes. In the end, they are not satisfied with their decision and they have to suffer. Change preposition
apply
For example
, my friend got two offer letters where the first company was far and the second one was near. He chose the second one and rejected the better offer. I think sometimes travelling long distances
is better than selecting the wrong job or college
just to avoid the commute.
In conclusion, I believe that travelling long distances
keeps us healthy, active and motivated towards our job or studies. I don't think there are any negative impacts of long commutes if people
can manage their time well.Submitted by tirththakkar23 on
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Task Response
Remember to discuss both views in a balanced way. Your essay leans strongly towards one perspective without adequately exploring the opposing viewpoint.
Task Response
To improve clarity and argument depth, make sure to elaborate on how the disadvantages affect individuals and society, not just the benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to showcase your range in connecting ideas smoothly and coherently.
Task Achievement
Effective use of an example to support your point about the benefit of commuting to a preferred college.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that neatly bookend your essay, effectively conveying your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are supported with personal experiences, strengthening your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite