Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some considered it to be a negative development. While others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In
this
modern era, Linking Words
people
often commute longer Use synonyms
distances
to reach their workplaces and colleges. There can be various reasons behind Use synonyms
this
situation and many Linking Words
people
consider it a positive Use synonyms
development
. Use synonyms
While
others don't think the same. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss both views and outline a conclusion to support my opinion.
To start with, there are many Linking Words
people
in our daily lives who travel long Use synonyms
distances
to work or study. Use synonyms
Also
, there are many reasons behind the Linking Words
distances
they travel. Use synonyms
For instance
, My job location is 45 minutes away from my home because I was not selected by any other company, I accepted what I was offered. Linking Words
However
, many Linking Words
people
are against Use synonyms
this
mindset because they think it is a waste of Linking Words
time
to travel Use synonyms
such
long Linking Words
distances
. Use synonyms
In addition
, some Linking Words
people
focus on their travelling Use synonyms
time
rather than the opportunities they are getting to study or work which is a root cause of negative Use synonyms
development
.
On the other side, there is a positive mindset regarding Use synonyms
this
situation where Linking Words
people
cherish the opportunities that they achieve by travelling long Use synonyms
distances
. Use synonyms
For example
, my brother's college is 1 hour away from his house. Linking Words
Although
he had options to get admission to the colleges nearby he chose the quality of education over the travelling Linking Words
time
. Use synonyms
Also
, Linking Words
people
often prefer to utilize their travelling Use synonyms
time
by doing productive things like developing new skills. Use synonyms
Hence
, it is possible to learn new things Linking Words
while
travelling and I consider Linking Words
this
mindset as a positive Linking Words
development
.
In conclusion, I believe, focusing on the quality of education or the workplace over long commutes is a positive Use synonyms
development
. Use synonyms
Also
, Linking Words
people
learning extra skills Use synonyms
while
travelling is an addition towards positive Linking Words
development
.Use synonyms
Submitted by tirththakkar23 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction fully outlines the issue at hand. While your introduction mentions that opinions differ on whether commuting long distances is positive, be clear about presenting both sides of the argument from the start.
Task Achievement
In developing paragraphs, aim to balance the discussion by dedicating equal effort and detail to opposing views. Although you've provided personal examples, incorporating a wider range of evidence could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay benefits from a clear logical structure, which aids in understanding your argument. To further enhance cohesion, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
While your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, to achieve a higher score, explicitly restate and address the key points discussed in both viewpoints before stating your opinion.
Task Achievement
The use of personal examples to support your points is effective.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear progression of ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow.
Task Achievement
Good effort in presenting both sides of the argument, reflecting an understanding of the task requirements.