Some people think that watching sport is a waste of leasure time.Do you agree or disagree

Many people argue that engaging in
sports
is not a smart way to spend someone's time.
Although
sports
can be
initially
time-consuming, I strongly disagree with the above statement and
this
essay will discuss my opinion on the phenomenon.
Firstly
, engaging in
sports
activities is a healthy way of improving
one
's health and preventing illnesses. Many people nowadays are becoming health conscious and
chooaing
Correct your spelling
choosing
a sport as a hobby is
one
of the few many things that can help
one
live a healthy lifestyle.
Consequently
, these activities can not only improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ohysical
Correct your spelling
physical
health but
also
the mental aspect as performing an exercise can release a hormone called endorphins which is what we normally call a "happy hormone".
This
hormone can improve a person's mood and energy levels throughout the day
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is why some people jog in the morning before going to work.
Moreover
, giving a child a chance to participate in
sports
while
they are young can open up opportunities for them when they get older. Famous athletes that we know
of
Change preposition
apply
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today started training when they were young and it is evident that their
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
paid off. An example of
this
would be the famous
footbll
Correct your spelling
football
player, David Beckham. He was trained by his father at a young age in their backyard
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
form of leisure time but today, he is now known as
one
of the best football
player
Change to聽a聽plural noun
players
show examples
in the world. In conclusion, joining
sports
activities is a good way to maintain a healthy body and mind.
In addition
,
sports
can open up new beginnings for all of us.
Submitted by joycegacho on

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positive
Well-structured argument supported by relevant examples, enhancing the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.
improvement
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentences to enrich your essay and demonstrate language proficiency.
improvement
Pay attention to spelling and typographical errors (e.g., 'ohysical' instead of 'physical', 'chooaing' instead of 'choosing', 'footbll' instead of 'football'). Correct these to enhance your essay's presentation.
improvement
To strengthen your argument, you might want to include counterarguments and refute them. This will show a deeper level of analysis.
positive
Use of a relevant personal example (David Beckham) to support your argument.
positive
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively connected, providing a cohesive view on your stance towards the topic.
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