IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year', before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #year #gap #work #university #chance #horizons #waste #time
There are 2 types of people, Some think that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is a loss of time and others think that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is the best way to discover the world and have an unforgettable moment.
However
, The first type I have mentioned tends to be the most common one.
Moreover
, they believe that acquiring
money
 is good for their future those people do not have the passion for travelling or exploring the universe, which may not be exciting
nevertheless
, they think that life is about collecting
money
.
On the other hand
, there are a lot of young teenagers who adore adventures.
Therefore
, they purchased their tickets and started their journey. without looking for
money
, Life is one time, so the phenomenon of taking a trip to another country is very popular among young people before deciding which path they want to take, whether the education and continue towards the undergraduate degree, or start to search for a job and build their career.
In addition
, In my opinion, I would separate the gap year, six months for travelling and, the other six months I will try to get a position in any company and earn some cash to pay the tuition fees so I would not blame the first group
Due to
 staying and save their
money
 everybody responsible for himself. In conclusion, travelling or staying is not the same I will choose to catch the nearest flight and enjoy it because after one year I will be studying my major at the institution.
Submitted by fnokgamer11 on

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task achievement
Try to develop each point of view with more specific examples and details to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas are connected smoothly. Avoid abrupt shifts between different points of view.
general
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and maintain a more formal tone throughout the essay.
task achievement
You have presented both views on the topic and provided your own opinion, which is essential for a complete task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your line of thought.
task achievement
Your perspective is well-stated, and you proposed a balanced approach to the gap year which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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