IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people belive that technology has man made more social. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #belive #technology #man
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A group of
people
Use synonyms
 think that technology has made
world
Add an article
the world
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more
Change the word
apply
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closer and communities even more social than ever before. From my perspective,
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 is true to a great extent and there are a myriad of reasons for
this
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology has given rise to numerous apps
such
Linking Words
 as
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
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,
Correct word choice
and instragram
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instragram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
 and provides many features that are beyond imagination like chatting,
video
Correct word choice
and video
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 calls which
causes
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cause
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people
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 to communicate easily with each other whether verbally or through written texts. Nowadays,
people
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 can make friends from foreign countries which brings about an intercultural exchange among
people
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. Certainly, it has a positive impact on human
relationships
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 and networking.
For instance
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,
people
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 do interracial marriages which is
due to
Linking Words
 friendships created on social media sites.
Besides
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this
Linking Words
, it has made life easier and provided different choices
to
Change preposition
for
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people
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 to choose from the
relationships
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 online or offline.
Moreover
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, means of transportation help
people
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 to
convey
Verb problem
get
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 to various places in a short period of time and have changed how offices and
relationships
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 work.
For example
Linking Words
, if any close friend invites someone for a birthday party and arranges it in a far city,
then
Linking Words
 it is easy for that individual to commute to his venue easily. Definitely, it provides him a social relaxation and satisfaction.
To conclude
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological advancement has made life easy which
further
Linking Words
 helps in creating
relationships
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,
developing
Correct word choice
and developing
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 and nurturing them in a fruitful way. At
first,
Linking Words
it offers many features to communicate comfortably and
then
Linking Words
 it provides conveyance which has brought
world
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the world
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 closer and has reduced the traveling time to various locations.
Submitted by Kiran on

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coherence cohesion
Strive to use a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance the flow and complexity of your writing.
task achievement
Enhance the specificity of your examples by adding more detailed scenarios or statistics to support your points.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively used an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, creating a clear structure.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
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