In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
With
the
medical technology advancing day by Correct article usage
apply
bay
, Correct your spelling
day
ageing
Add an article
the ageing
population
Use synonyms
had became
a serious social issue for developed countries. Wrong verb form
has become
While
many people believe that Linking Words
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
population
presents Use synonyms
challenge
for Add an article
a challenge
Use synonyms
government
, others Correct article usage
the government
thinks
that it would Change the verb form
think
have
Verb problem
be
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
of having
more elderly in Change preposition
to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. The greater number of elderly benefits Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighs
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
became
a hot controversy.
Change the verb form
become
Firstly
, it is Linking Words
essentially
to consider the burden of elderly Change the word
essential
brings
to the economy. In most cases, Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
requires
more medical support and allowance from Change the verb form
require
society
. Even though some of them can pay Use synonyms
by
their own, Change preposition
on
but
as far as I Correct word choice
apply
knew
most elderly medical fees in Hong Kong are funded by Wrong verb form
know
Use synonyms
government
. Add an article
the government
For instance
, my Linking Words
grandfarther
Correct your spelling
grandfather
have
lots of health Correct subject-verb agreement
has
problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
However
, Linking Words
hospital
just Add an article
the hospital
charge
him around $180 per time. Change the verb form
charges
This
is not enough Linking Words
for covering
the expense Change preposition
to cover
for
Change preposition
of
hospital
. With more elderly in Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
society
, it would Use synonyms
be require
more funding from Change the verb form
require
Use synonyms
government
. And it would Add an article
the government
be impact
the taxation.
Change the verb form
impact
In contrast
, despite there are drawbacks of having many elderly in our Linking Words
society
, there Use synonyms
are
still positive feedback Change the verb form
is
of
having Change preposition
about
elderly
in Correct article usage
an elderly
society
. Usually, older citizens have more experience in their Use synonyms
life
. They are better Fix the agreement mistake
lives
in
managing wealth and Change preposition
at
respect
rules. They have more potential to become the leader. And they can share valuable Wrong verb form
respecting
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
to
Change preposition
with
younger
generation. Add an article
the younger
a younger
For instance
, my grandfather always Linking Words
take
part in community service Change the verb form
takes
leader
. Leading teenagers to help the vulnerable groups. And he will share precious ideas Replace the word
leadership
to
teenagers.
Change preposition
with
To sum up
, Linking Words
while
Linking Words
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
population
might bring Use synonyms
burden
to Correct article usage
a burden
Use synonyms
government
economy, the benefits Correct article usage
the government
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
brought
cannot Wrong verb form
bring
be avoid
. The wisdom and Change the verb form
be avoided
intelligent
of Replace the word
intelligence
elderly
can bring positive feedback to Correct article usage
the elderly
society
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, the Linking Words
benfits
of having an ageing Correct your spelling
benefits
population
Use synonyms
outweight
the Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
disadvantage
.Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
Submitted by oscar77734644 on
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Improve sentence structure and syntax for clarity.
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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
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You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...