Topic 10: In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#topic #world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations

It is a common phenomenon in developed

country

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countries

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that average

life

expectancy

leveling

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levelling

show examples

following

Wrong verb form

followed

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

problems for both individuals and societies. I am going to discuss about the potential

crsis

Correct your spelling

crisis

and give some

suggestion

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suggestions

show examples

accordingly

Firstly

, from the individual's perspective, the increasing average

life

anticipation is equivalent to the longer working periods in

life

Thesedays

Correct your spelling

These days

, the cost of living is increasing all over the world, especially in developed countries. Without a

job

people

may find it hard to earn

salary

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a salary

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and feed themselves.

Therefore

, the working periods

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are

show examples

growing

together with

the average

life

expectancy

because

people

need to make sure that they have enough finial support until they retire. As for the society, one of the most significant problems is the employment. Companies tend to prefer young

people

, like graduated students. Because they are considered to be more energetic and more creative.

However

, as the average

life

expectancy

increasing

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

middle-aged

Correct article usage

the middle-aged

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population become bigger. And

due to

the preference for young

people

, many middle-aged

people

may be fired by their host

insititution

Correct your spelling

institution

institutions

or being replaced by the youngsters.

Worsestill

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Worse still

, once

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

middle-aged

people

are fired, they will face the difficulties of finding a new

job

. And the loss of their jobs can

further

lead to individual mental problems like depression or anxiety. Based on the hardship of

individual

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individuals

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and society, I

come

Wrong verb form

came

show examples

up with two suggestions. For

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals, I encourage

people

never

stop

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to stop

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learning. Many

people

quit

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

study

Replace the word

studying

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after finding a

job

or think there is no necessary to learn.

However

due to

the increasing average

life

expectancy

, if a person

intend

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intends

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to maintain advantages in

job

hunting, learning new knowledge is essential. It helps

individual

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individuals

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to keep up with the latest

trend

Fix the agreement mistake

trends

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and be more competitive. For

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, I recommend government

Verb problem

apply

show examples

develop

well-established

Add an article

a well-established

show examples

policy towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employment and help protect every employee's rights so that

people

can be

more calm

Replace the words

calmer

show examples

when facing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

transit.

Submitted by asllchkied on Mon Apr 15 2024

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introduction

Begin with a more direct introduction to the topic. While it's good to state the issue clearly, adding a sentence that directly addresses the topic can make your introduction stronger.

sentence structure

Aim for more variety in sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay. Using a mix of complex and compound sentences can make your argument more engaging.

examples

Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay by providing concrete evidence of your points.

solution development

In discussing solutions, ensure your ideas are fully developed. It's beneficial to explain how and why these measures can effectively address the issues at hand.

topic coverage

Your essay addresses both individual and societal perspectives, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

structure

You've structured your essay logically with clear paragraphs for each main point, aiding the reader in following your argument.

solution relevance

The suggestions provided are practical and relevant, reflecting a thoughtful approach to solving the issue described.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
healthcare systems
pension schemes
beneficiaries
age-related illnesses
labor market
skill shortages
social isolation
mental health issues
intergenerational inequality
urban planning
age-friendly

What to do next:

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Topic 10: In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect o young people's reading and writing skills . to what extent do you agree or disagree

In the past important knowledge of culture and history was stored in the museums. Nowadays information is freely available on the internet therefore is no need of museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many individuals prefer to purchase products from well-known brands, including clothing, automobiles, and other stuff. What drives this behaviour? Do you consider that to be a good or bad development?

Some people think that telling the truth is not always essential. It is necessary to tell lies sometimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .