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Band 7

Some people think that certain wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are some good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #animals #zoos
Around the world,
animals
 are kept in
zoos
.
However
, there is much controversy about whether there are enough positive reasons for
this
 trend or if they should be set free. I do agree that some
animals
 should not be in
zoos
.
Zoos
 can be crucial for the survival of many
animal’
Change noun form
animal
show examples
species
. As an example, the Bango Tiger and the African lions, which are endangered
species
 that almost vanished from African land, were saved from extinction because
zoos
 helped keep them alive. If
zoos
 did not help by facilitating the procreation of endangered
animals
, many
species
 would not have survived for so long.
Consequently
, the population of those
animals
 is increasing.
Conversely
, several drawbacks can be seen for
animals
 held in captivity.
For example
,
animals
 have very high levels of stress in
zoos
. When big
animals
such
 as lions, tigers, and many others are kept in zoo cages, they feel extremely disturbed because they do not have enough space to move around.
Animals
 in the wild have more than 100 times more land space than they normally have in cages around the world.
Additionally
,
animals
 lose their ability to hunt when confined.
For instance
,
zoos
 need to feed their
animals
, not allow them to practice their killing skills as they would in the wild.  In my opinion, not all
animals
 should be in
zoos
. Endangered and extinct
species
 should be the main targets of
zoos
.
In other words
,
zoos
 should only have selected
animals
 in their possession. In conclusion, even though
zoos
 can somehow positively impact wild
animals
’ lives, the drawbacks are far worse and should be taken into consideration.
Submitted by leandro-vs- on

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Task achievement
Great job on providing a clear introduction and conclusion that reflect your opinion. To enhance your essays, try to directly address the task prompt more explicitly throughout the essay to ensure a thorough coverage of the question.
Coherence and cohesion
Effective utilization of paragraphs and logical sequencing of ideas were observed. For improvement, consider varying your linking phrases and ensuring smoother transitions between points for an even stronger cohesion.
Task Achievement
Provided specific examples to support arguments, such as the mention of endangered species like the Bengo Tiger and African lions.
Task Achievement
Maintained a clear stance throughout the essay, effectively ending with a reasoned conclusion that reflects upon the introduction.
Coherence and cohesion
Good use of an organized structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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