some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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Music

plays an important role in our society.

And some

Correct word choice

Some

show examples

people

believe that

people

, no matter what age, from different parts, can learn about their culture by enjoying

music

. From my perspective, I think

this

viewpoint is reasonable. The most obvious reason why I support

this

opinion is that

music

as a world language can deliver

people

's abundant emotion through the variety of the rhythm. Every nation has its own

music

style that relies on the setting when the composer created the

music

so that

people

can learn about different histories and cultures by listening

music

's rhythm. If

people

want to gain more information by other methods combining listening to

music

, is a better way. More importantly, another reason is that

music

can activate

people

's hearing, so it can help children and adults with multiple feelings to absorb knowledge and information. At the same time, some rhythms are easy to mimic, so

this

way is

beneificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

to widespreading the culture from mouth to mouth. When

music

can be widespread, it gives some nations more opportunities to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

expand their influence and become popular.

Furthermore

, enjoying

music

depends on

people

's emotions, and everybody has feelings like happiness, sadness, excitement, and so on.

This

means, that when

people

feel annoyed, rock

music

might be a good choice to wound their moods, which has nothing with on age. In conclusion, as what has been illustrated above, my position can be justified to some extent.

Therefore

, I believe

music

is a good method to deliver the world culture and every age can absorb it.

This

point is reasonable.

Submitted by 1390024496 on Sun Aug 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that main idea. Avoid unrelated digressions.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging.

general

Be mindful of grammar and vocabulary usage to enhance readability and comprehension. For instance, 'combining listening to music' can be rephrased for clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.

task achievement

You present a complete response to the prompt, addressing the idea that music can bring people of different cultures and ages together.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are generally clear and presented in a logical sequence, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Teachers in different countries get different payments and many people say that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In recent years, there has been a surge in the popularity of electric vehicles (EVs). What are the advantages and disadvantages of electric vehicles?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Not enough students choose science subjects at universities in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What’s the effect on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.