IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

#countries #governments #technology #government #money
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Nowadays, many leaders of specific
countries
 are putting money into new
technology
 to cope with society.
This
 is caused by the requirement of wonder citizens who live in that country and
this
 writer thinks that
this
 is unsuitable in light of its disconvincing recognition. The
development
 of the 4.0 era entails investment by the government in advanced scientific technologies. It can be recognized that
such
 investment will help
countries
 catch up with other
countries
 in economic improvement . The USA is one of the leading examples of
countries
 investing in advanced
technology
. It can be seen that investing in new
technology
 is a good thing because it helps bring convenience and
development
 to people's lifestyles.
In other words
, people's needs are increasing over time.
Consequently
 , the government invest in advanced
technology
 that both contributes to the
development
 of the country's economy and meets the needs of the people.
For example
, Vietnam today is constantly developing new
technology
such
 as wifi and 5G networks, increasing diplomatic capabilities with other
countries
 and
also
 addressing the needs of the community. In conclusion, the
development
 of
technology
 makes it convenient and faster to solve problems but solving problems in person is more convincing the ever problem.

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introduction conclusion clarity
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction that introduces the topic and a concise conclusion that sums up your arguments.
idea development
Develop your ideas more fully with detailed explanations and more specific examples.
paragraph structure
Work on organizing your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and logical progression of ideas.
language range
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to express your ideas more precisely.
direct addressing of question
Address the essay topic directly and make sure your arguments are well-supported and directly relevant to the questions asked.
content relevance
Acknowledgment of the importance of technological investment for economic growth and social development.
use of examples
Effort to provide examples, such as the advancements in wifi and 5G technology in Vietnam, to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital transformation
  • service delivery
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • tech-savvy
  • contemporary lifestyle
  • public satisfaction
  • data management
  • smart city technologies
  • predictive policing
  • data privacy
  • digital divide
  • inclusivity
  • governance
  • infrastructure
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