In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent’s absence.
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In today’s dynamic world, numerous families find it significant for both
parents
to go out of work
. In this
essay, I will discuss and give opinions of
the said views.
Family is one of the basic structures of the community. Looking back, the member of the family who thrives a lot in order to provide the needs of the family is the father. Change preposition
on
However
, as the world is evolving there are also
increasing demands and costs of the basic needs of each individual, thus
both parents
would seek greater opportunities to sustain the family. With that said, children
can benefit from the additional income of their parents
where their needs and wants are provided. For example
, parents
would seek greener pastures for the family, like going abroad where they can earn what is greater than they think they can provide for the family. The children
that are left would feel grateful that they have full support
not just financially but also
emotionally while
they are away.
On the other hand
, however
, some feel they lack support
because of their parent’s absence. It is also
evident in today's generation, where children
are being involved in fights, bullying and even vices. If these children
are not guided well when their parents
are away, then
more likely they feel this
way. For example
, especially with adolescents, are in their identity versus role confusion stage, and during school activities they need parents
, they miss that milestone of their life. This
stage is also
crucial when their emotions are at their peak, and they truly need guidance. With that said, if their parents
are not physically around, they feel no one is there to support
and guide them along the way.
In my opinion, it depends on what is the foundation or how the family’s foundation was created that it can affect the children
. It is one of the crucial parts of the family that parents
would tend to sacrifice being away or not being able to spend much time with their children
because of work
. If the foundation is strong enough that the children
can understand why their parents
need to work
for their needs and future, then
it will not be a big deal to them and will take it as a brighter side. On the other side, feelings are also
valid if children
feel that they lack support
since they are not always together. Maybe communication and quality time be it away or near are essential while
parents
are working for their families.
To sum up
, in today's dynamic world, numerous families find it significant for both parents
to go out of work
. It truly depends on how they will perceive the situation, be it on the positive side or in the negative.Submitted by dhowardjacob on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and offers a balanced perspective on both sides of the issue. In order to achieve a higher score, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments more robustly.
coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity and cohesion, try to improve the transitions between your paragraphs. Ensure that each point flows logically into the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined and clearly present the main arguments of the essay.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively addresses the task and presents clear ideas about the benefits and drawbacks of both parents working.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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