Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the art (e.g. Music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people assert that it is more advisable for the authorities to invest in public services
instead
of art. Owing to the social well-being and the current inclination of residents’ needs,
this
writer totally agrees with
this
statement and will explain it in the following sections. It is straightforward to recognize that public services provide crucial contributions for the whole social sustainability. With improved facilities, increasingly residents are appealed to and will utilize these services more frequently, which leads to an enormous and stable profit for the national budget. In the long term, it is
this
budget
that is
responsible for the economic growth. Take Vietnam as an example, where the majority of healthcare centres have witnessed an innovation recently illustrating that 20% of national income emerges from medical fields.
Subsequently
, education, transportation
as well as
other aspects
also
experience a rise in income. Another key element that must be mentioned is the general preference among the public.
Following
this
statement, the vast of dwellers in these present days are able to enjoy various forms of art conveniently
due to
social networking sites and online shopping. Whenever one has a demand to perform artistic activities, a wide range of tools,
for instance
, brushes, colour patterns, speakers and microphones are always available on the digital market. Because of
this
, no drawbacks have been recorded,
therefore
an investment in
this
aspect is definitely a waste.
Consequently
, there should be a lack of essential budget for other necessities, which gradually harms social stability. In conclusion, it is worth considering to spend on public properties rather than art.
However
,
this
essay has outlined the primary purposes for the approval.

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the task and provides a complete response to the statement. However, be mindful to always tie your examples directly to your main points for greater clarity.
task response
Ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and restates your position more clearly for a stronger ending.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay has a logical flow, work on enhancing the use of cohesive devices to ensure that the transitions between ideas are smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Sections of the essay can be developed further for deeper insights. For instance, delve into more specific details about how public services impact economic growth.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which contributes to its overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is engaging and clearly states your position, which is maintained throughout the essay.
task response
You provided relevant examples, such as the reference to Vietnam's healthcare centres, which helped illustrate your points effectively.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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