Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the present era, people tend to drive recklessly and aggressively, overlooking the safety of the
road
and other
drivers
. Some people are of the opinion that harsh chastisements should be taken more into account in order to avoid
further
road
accidents,
nevertheless
, some individuals hold the view that additional actions are still required to augment its practical term in reality.
This
essay will elucidate both perspectives. In some advanced countries, stringent regulations are enforced for those who wish to obtain a driving licence. It is vital that prospective
drivers
attend a series of in-depth lectures over a considerable period to equip them with fundamental knowledge about
traffic
laws and driving techniques. Apart from receiving classroom materials, their skills are
further
enhanced by regular on-
road
driving training, which provides them with hands-on experience. Later, driver candidates must undergo specific examinations to have their knowledge fully assessed. If these approaches are implemented rigorously, they will produce disciplined and law-abiding
road
users, thereby decreasing the likelihood of future infractions. To summarise
this
point, a robust and truthful foundation is crucial for establishing safe
traffic
environments.
In contrast
to other nations, it is quite usual for citizens to bribe local authorities to acquire their driving licences instantly.
This
case leads to a disorganised
traffic
system, a senseful consequence of allowing unqualified
drivers
to be on the
road
. In
such
a scenario, it is crucial to implement strong penalties. My viewpoint suggests that seizing the person’s vehicle and sentencing them to a few months in prison would effectively discourage similar behaviours in the future. Ultimately, preventing violence in
traffic
would be more manageable if the
drivers
possessed the required skills.
Nevertheless
, if they lack these abilities, stricter measures, like confiscating their assets and imposing imprisonment, should be carried out to create a strong deterrent effect.
Submitted by syarahfatiha321 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is fully developed with examples and explanations. While your essay discusses both views and provides specific examples, further elaboration in some parts could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim for a more varied use of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Your essay shows good use of structure, but additional transitional phrases could enhance coherence.
General
Consider revising sentences that may be too long or complex, aiming for clarity and preciseness in your expression. This will make your points more accessible to the reader.
Structure
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, acknowledging both viewpoints on road safety measures.
Task Achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both views, which fulfils the essay prompt’s requirements.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarises the essay, reiterating your personal stance and the rationale behind it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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