IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

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Many regions in the world are increasingly improving the advancement of
technology
Use synonyms
 to cope with the
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
 of the community. The writer believes
this
Linking Words
 is rooted in the replacement of the traditional system and will eventually benefit the country’s environment. It must be understood that the new development in
technology
Use synonyms
 can help replace the core of
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 methodology
to manage
Change preposition
for managing
show examples
 residents.
That is
Linking Words
 because the outdated method of managing residents prohibits the potential value of each dweller by putting several steps
as well as
Linking Words
 limits which are intended to control criminal rate, and,
subsequently
Linking Words
, the involvement of AI and
alike
Correct word choice
similar
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 can virtually prevent any suspicious illegal activities from happening in the first place.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the authority can cut down numerous unnecessary stages and
then
Linking Words
 alleviate the cost of setting up or upgrading the corporations.
For instance
Linking Words
, the report in the USA shows that retailers save 30% of maintaining businesses
due to
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 the introduction of virtual credit cards. When it comes to deploying new
technology
Use synonyms
, there is little doubt that it eases pollution.
In other words
Linking Words
, the utilisation of advanced
technology
Use synonyms
 in energy production, say solar panels, has been reducing waste
along with
Linking Words
 carbon dioxide emissions on the grounds that those technologies do not depend heavily on non-renewable resources to produce massive amounts of energy.
As a result
Linking Words
, humans completely exploit natural resources, so waste is not produced, and simultaneously avoid creating toxic fumes. Take Vietnam as a prime example, where the employment of windmills as the substitute for coal plants produces 1 billion kw per hour, 25% higher than the previous method. In conclusion, the investment of the government in
technology
Use synonyms
 stems from the requirement to change old-fashioned processes.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will resolve the current environmental problems.

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task response
Clarify and expand on your ideas with more specific details to ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to demonstrate clear connections between your ideas for improved coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Consider developing your paragraphs with more in-depth analysis and varied examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Effective introduction of the topic and a clear conclusion that summarized your main points well.
task response
Good use of examples to support your points, particularly with the reference to the USA and Vietnam, which show the benefits of technology in practical contexts.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital transformation
  • service delivery
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • tech-savvy
  • contemporary lifestyle
  • public satisfaction
  • data management
  • smart city technologies
  • predictive policing
  • data privacy
  • digital divide
  • inclusivity
  • governance
  • infrastructure
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