IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is something said that people who do work that is physically hard should be paid as much as people who do work that needs high level qualifications. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #level #qualifications
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There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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salary.
While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 physically hard should be paid as much as
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 with high-level qualifications, I would argue chefs and
dishwashers
Use synonyms
 should not be paid the same amount. I will explain my reasons in
this
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 essay. There is no doubt that
people
Use synonyms
 who have higher qualifications should earn higher salaries than
people
Use synonyms
 who have unskilled jobs.
This
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 is because
doctors
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, engineers and lawyers have to study at university for many years, but
dishwashers
Use synonyms
 can
work
Use synonyms
 right away and do not need any academic qualifications.
For example
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, in Australia who want to be a doctor have to study for 7 years at university and they have many responsibilities to deal with
this
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 job.
As a result
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, it is reasonable for
doctors
Use synonyms
 to have higher salaries than
dishwashers
Use synonyms
. It is worth pointing out that
doctors
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, engineers and lawyers should get higher salaries than
dishwashers
Use synonyms
 and chefs.
This
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 is based on the fact that these jobs deal with stressful situations, and they
work
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 for long hours daily.
For instance
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, as reported in the New York Times, 80% of
doctors
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 and nurses have to
work
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 long hours each day because they have to be ready when emergency situations happen and save their patient’s lives.
Consequently
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, their high salary is reasonable with their significant responsibilities. In conclusion, we can observe that highly
education
Replace the word
educated
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people
Use synonyms
 should earn a high salary because of their responsibilities, knowledge and skills.
Overall
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, I strongly believe that unskilled jobs can not get the same pay
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who have a university degree.
Submitted by v.mahatkomol on

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Task Response
Ensure a balanced discussion by considering the viewpoint opposite to your own to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a more diverse range of sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
Consider developing your ideas further with more in-depth analysis and a wider range of examples.
Logical Structure
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Supported Main Points
You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, strengthening your argument.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
The topic sentences of your paragraphs clearly state the main idea, facilitating the reader's understanding.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical labor
  • Highly qualified positions
  • Intrinsic value
  • Societal function
  • Physical toll
  • Economic perspective
  • Supply and demand
  • Salary disparities
  • Cultural perceptions
  • Specialized training
  • Minimum wage adjustments
  • Nuanced arguments
What to do next:
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