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Band 5

Libraries should focus on improving their technological resources rather than in building a larger collection of paper books. To what extent do you agree?

#libraries #focus #resources #collection #paper #books
Most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
libraries
 are focused on expanding the collection of
books
 to attract visitors
instead
 of keeping up with the modern day and using technology, I agree that
libraries
 ought to replace paper
books
 with E-
books
 for
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of reasons
Firstly
, the use of fragile material had flaws over the
last
 decades, paper is very prone
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 damage
due to
 a lot of factors like humidity, fire and bookworms. New technology like E-
books
 could be uploaded to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 E-library cloud and help
users
 to read and obtain
information
 from any device and reobtaining it even if the device is destroyed
Secondly
, technological resources allow
users
 to spend much less time finding
information
, the convincing
features
 of E-
books
helped
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 to encourage
users
 to find
information
 through it,
features
such
 as the search feature allowing
users
 to find
information
 by word by word, copy and paste
features
 aided in the quotation and more other
features
, that eased
users
 to find
information
 with excellent precision, minimal effort and time.
Finally
,
due to
 lack of space, some
libraries
 might be lacking some
books
 and materials, some new updated versions of a book don’t get to be shelved and obtained
books
 kept in boxes.
for instance
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
periodic journals and magazines might not be used so frequently because of how fast a new issue is released.
To sum up
,
while
 traditional
books
 have great value the use of new technology resources in
libraries
 will greatly benefit the visitors and librarians.
Submitted by fatimahalsalman215 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and flow. Incorporating a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of using articles ('a', 'the') and prepositions correctly to improve grammatical accuracy and overall fluency.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, consider providing counterarguments. This will show a broader understanding of the topic and enhance the depth of your essay.
task achievement
Effective use of examples to support arguments, such as the benefits of using E-books over paper books.
coherence cohesion
Good organization of ideas with clear paragraphs focusing on distinct points - damage to paper books, functionality of E-books, and limitations due to space.
task achievement
Presenting a clear standpoint throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent stance on the importance of technological resources in libraries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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