IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In today's world, many people use mobile phones and the Internet to communicate with others. This has resulted in the use of new words and different forms of spelling and grammar. Are they a positive or negative development?

#world #people #phones #internet #forms #grammar #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There have been many changes in the way we communicate over the
last
 20 years, and it is understandable that these changes have affected the way we speak and write. Is
this
 a good thing or a bad thing? In the past,
people
 communicated by writing letters and speaking on the phone.
However
, technology has changed
this
, and now emails texts and the Internet are the most common
communication
 tools, especially for young
people
. These methods of
communication
 are much faster than the old ones, and
this
 means that
people
 write more quickly and communicate more frequently. Unfortunately, the speed of modern
communication
 systems has reduced the accuracy of our messages.
This
 is because
people
 make up their own words and abbreviations, and some of these can become quite popular. In my country,
for example
, LOL means 'laugh out loud', and children write
this
 and say it. What is more, punctuation may be missing, and
people
 worry less about how to spell words. Yet language change is not necessarily a bad thing. Informal texts and emails are just messages between friends. It does not matter too much how they are written. The important thing is that
people
 can switch to more accurate language when they need to.
However
, if they lose
this
 ability, and formal
communication
 becomes too careless,
then
 there will be problems. All in all, I do not think that you can stop change and you cannot prevent new ways of communicating.
On the other hand
, it is still necessary to make sure that everyone can appreciate and use correct grammar and vocabulary.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Great job in structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure helps in delivering your argument effectively.
coherence
You’ve used a variety of connective words which enhances the flow of ideas throughout the essay. Keep up the good work!
examples
Incorporating more specific examples and elaborating on them could strengthen your arguments and provide clearer insight.
balance
Watch out for overgeneralizations. It’s beneficial to acknowledge exceptions or variations in viewpoints to provide a more balanced discussion.
accuracy
To further improve, consider refining the accuracy of punctuation and grammar in future essays, even though the provided text is well understood.
structure
Effectively structured essay with clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
linking
Good use of linking words to enhance the flow of information.
examples
Appropriate use of examples to support arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: