In some countries , owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might be this case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In our modern society, in some parts of the world , it is crucial for individuals to dwell in their own
home
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homes
show examples
instead
of renting an apartment.
This
kind of approach
mainly
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is mainly
show examples
related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
having an
estate
for the future . In my opinion,
this
phenomenon
have
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has
show examples
both cons and pros.
Firstly
, when
government
Correct article usage
the government
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do not provide
community
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the community
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with work , individuals cannot foresee their future economic situations and
more
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are more
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concerned about their lives .
For instance
, employees living in rent
,
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apply
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must pay a significant proportion of their salary each month. In the situation of economic crisis , an increase in costs of
diary
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dairy
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products directly affects employees’ lives .
Additionally
, evidence in someone’s building brings a sense of anxiety
due to
uncertainty
of
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about
show examples
the renter’s behaviours . In economically tough periods , homeowners tend to increase their monthly rents.
However
,
this
issue circumvents if you own your settlement ( car , apartment) .
Thus
, it brings an eagerness for
crowd
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the crowd
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to own an
estate
. From the other perspective ,
trend
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the trend
a trend
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to own a settlement leads to a number of difficulties . In countries
which
Correct word choice
where
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rent costs a lot, there is
an
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a
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growing demand for an
estate
, which leads to an increase in prices .
Aspiration
Correct article usage
The aspiration
show examples
of having an
estate
,
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apply
show examples
sometimes leads individuals to apply to banks for
a
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apply
show examples
credit . In cities where the taxes
cost
Verb problem
are
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expensive , living with credit can be disgusting.
For
this
reason ,
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the
a
show examples
community must consider all aspects ( taxes , costs, ) . In conclusion ,
although
it can be understood to society’s financial concerns about the future , it could not be beneficial for public welfare
due to
the possibility of adverse effects on gross domestic product .In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
it can be examined as both negative and positive
Submitted by elnur.adil on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task with an opinion that is maintained throughout. Consider providing more diverse, detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and incorporating more transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
language
Be mindful of using the correct form of words (e.g., 'government does not provide' instead of 'government do not provide') and articles where necessary.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay well with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both sides of the argument, considering the reasons why owning a home is important and the drawbacks of this trend.

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