In some countries , owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might be this case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In our modern society, in some parts of the world , it is crucial for individuals to dwell in their own community must consider all aspects ( taxes , costs, ) .
In conclusion ,
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
instead
of renting an apartment. This
kind of approach mainly
related Add a missing verb
is mainly
with
having an Change preposition
to
estate
for the future . In my opinion, this
phenomenon have
both cons and pros.
Change the verb form
has
Firstly
, when government
do not provide Correct article usage
the government
community
with work , individuals cannot foresee their future economic situations and Add an article
the community
more
concerned about their lives . Add a missing verb
are more
For instance
, employees living in rent,
must pay a significant proportion of their salary each month. In the situation of economic crisis , an increase in costs of Remove the comma
apply
diary
products directly affects employees’ lives . Correct your spelling
dairy
Additionally
, evidence in someone’s building brings a sense of anxiety due to
uncertainty of
the renter’s behaviours . In economically tough periods , homeowners tend to increase their monthly rents. Change preposition
about
However
, this
issue circumvents if you own your settlement ( car , apartment) . Thus
, it brings an eagerness for crowd
to own an Add an article
the crowd
estate
.
From the other perspective , trend
to own a settlement leads to a number of difficulties . In countries Add an article
the trend
a trend
which
rent costs a lot, there is Correct word choice
where
an
growing demand for an Change the article
a
estate
, which leads to an increase in prices . Aspiration
of having an Correct article usage
The aspiration
estate
,
sometimes leads individuals to apply to banks for Remove the comma
apply
a
credit . In cities where the taxes Remove the article
apply
cost
expensive , living with credit can be disgusting. Verb problem
are
For
this
reason ,Add an article
the
a
although
it can be understood to society’s financial concerns about the future , it could not be beneficial for public welfare due to
the possibility of adverse effects on gross domestic product .In my opinion
it can be examined as both negative and positiveAdd a comma
opinion,
Submitted by elnur.adil on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task with an opinion that is maintained throughout. Consider providing more diverse, detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and incorporating more transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
language
Be mindful of using the correct form of words (e.g., 'government does not provide' instead of 'government do not provide') and articles where necessary.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay well with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both sides of the argument, considering the reasons why owning a home is important and the drawbacks of this trend.