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Writing Samples
Band 6

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
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In recent years, there has been a growing debate about whether it is more beneficial to invest funds in building new
railway
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lines
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 for very fast
trains
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 or improving existing public
transport
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 systems.
While
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 some argue that building new
railway
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lines
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 for fast
trains
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 is necessary to improve
transportation
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 efficiency and connectivity between
cities
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, others believe that investing in existing public
transport
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 is a more cost-effective and sustainable solution. I partly agree with these statements and discuss both views.
At
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In
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 the beginning, those who support the construction of new
railway
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lines
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 for very fast
trains
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 argue that it can provide numerous benefits,
such
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 as reducing travel times between
cities
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, easing congestion on roads, and stimulating economic growth in regions along the
railway
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lines
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. Fast
trains
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 can
also
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 offer a more comfortable and efficient mode of
transportation
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 for passengers compared to other means of travel.
Additionally
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, the construction of new
railway
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lines
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 can create jobs and boost local economies.
On the other hand
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, proponents of improving existing public
transport
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 systems argue that it is a more practical and cost-effective solution. Investing in existing infrastructure,
such
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 as buses, trams, and
trains
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, can improve accessibility and affordability for a larger population. It can
also
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 help reduce carbon emissions and congestion in urban areas. By upgrading and expanding existing public
transport
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 networks,
cities
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 can provide a sustainable and reliable mode of
transportation
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 for residents and visitors alike. In conclusion, by focusing on enhancing and modernizing current infrastructure,
cities
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 can provide a more sustainable and accessible mode of
transportation
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 for a larger population. Finding a balance between building new infrastructure and improving existing systems is key to creating efficient, accessible, and sustainable
transportation
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 networks in
cities
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 around the world.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a good overview of both perspectives, but could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Try to ensure your ideas are developed with greater depth and detail to clearly show your position.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but consider refining them to make your position more explicit from the start.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay covers both views and provides a balanced discussion, fulfilling the requirements of the task.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with clear paragraphs, contributing to its overall readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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