Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this ?

#children #time #media #grades

Priveledge

Correct word choice

A privileged

show examples

amount of

youngers

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

, spend

thir

Correct your spelling

their

hours on various social media platforms which in turn badly affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their grades. There is a freedom of access as a case of the

additiction

Correct your spelling

addiction

situation.

This

essay will provide

the

Correct article usage

show examples

solution, like

enfocing

Correct your spelling

enforcing

the rule to

restict

Correct your spelling

restrict

time

Correct article usage

the time

show examples

children could spend on

such

media. Freedom of choice,

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

young boys and girls who still

did

Verb problem

have

show examples

not

had learn

Wrong verb form

learned

show examples

how to avoid the lure of the fast dopamine right to

procratination

Correct your spelling

procrastination

and wasting a lot of golden hours. Here,

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

brain, rising around various

attention grabbing

Add a hyphen

attention-grabbing

show examples

apps, can not focus on subjects at school

wich

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

require a lot of force, energy and attention. Students

choose

Add the particle

choose to

show examples

spend

time

Correct pronoun usage

their phone

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

more,

reather

Correct your spelling

rather

Change preposition

than

show examples

dull reality. In

this

case, school heads and parents, need to make new rules, and engage children

Change preposition

show examples

new

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

of living by explaining the benefits of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

Thus

, presenting apps which count

time

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

instagram

Change the capitalization

Instagram

show examples

tik tok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

will

illustrare

Correct your spelling

illustrate

the

fact

Fix the agreement mistake

facts

show examples

of the problem and naturally force them to

development

Replace the word

develop

show examples

To conclude

, even

theese

Correct your spelling

these

days many

adolscents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

sitting

Wrong verb form

sit

show examples

and

scrolling

Wrong verb form

scroll

show examples

media,

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

they do not know the fact, and how to prevent

this

, parents and school heads will still bee needed to

envolve

Correct your spelling

involve

evolve

children to know more,

use

Correct word choice

and use

show examples

apps to prevent wasting

time

in the future.

Submitted by asel97.15 on Tue Apr 16 2024

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General

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Task Response

The essay identifies a relevant issue and proposes a solution, showing good engagement with the topic.

Structure

You successfully introduced the topic and provided a conclusion, which helps structure your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

220 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Addictive design
Infinite scrolling
Personalized content feeds
Peer pressure
Social validation
Fear of missing out (FOMO)
Parental supervision
Digital literacy programs
Extracurricular activities
Awareness campaigns
Conscious regulation
Academic impact
Engagement
Social media usage
Online presence

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Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this ?

Fully explain your ideas

Some parents believe that home schooling is more beneficial than the traditional schools. What is your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Some argue that having substantial wealth and limited leisure time is preferable to having less money but more free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. what problem has this caused? what solution can you suggest to this issue?