IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

it is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. to what extent do agree or disagree with this statement

In the present day,
money
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 is really important to us. We need it in our daily life, like food and drink, in study, in transportation and in our daily life . So, is it important for everyone,including young people, to save
money
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 for their future? In
this
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 essay, I will explain whether I agree or disagree with
this
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 statement. On the one hand, the cash was really important in the world, because without
money
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 everything will stop,
for example
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: in the schooling like university, we need to buy books to get information,
also
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 the internet need
money
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 to complete our life stuff like orders thing, or contact with family if we live outside like in housing student.
Moreover
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, when you save
money
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, you do not need to worry or think more about what you will do or not, or ask a person for
money
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, it makes some upset and sad feelings for yourself when you do that. Some people spend more
money
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 on the first day when they get a salary or a bonus for something they really do not need or are not important, and in the middle of the month, they are surprised when they check their
money
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 and find just a little cash left, and they start to ask what happened
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 Where is my cash? Here we need to fix it and start to learn how to save
money
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. In conclusion, I strongly agree to advise everyone,
also
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 teenagers, to save their
money
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 for their future, cause we do not know what will happen in the future.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the order of your ideas to connect them better in your writing.
task achievement
Make sure to support your points with clear examples that are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler sentences to express your ideas clearly without confusion.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
task achievement
You made a good point about the consequences of not saving money.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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