Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In
this
contemporary epoch, a certain number of individuals believe that all the sources to watch
movies
are available at
home
like phones and laptops
while
skeptics say it is vital to watch the film in
cinema
to fully enjoy it.
This
scenario has sparked controversy, with both advocates and critics representing valid arguments.
This
essay will delve into both views and will
subsequently
provide a conclusion.
To begin
with, the most predominant reason is that it saves
time
and energy for humans when they want to watch
movies
because they do not need to travel anywhere, they can sit in a quiet room in their house and enjoy the film as per their
time
preference. Ultimately, Netflix and Amazon Prime are the various platforms to enjoy newly released
movies
on laptops or mobile phones.
Moreover
, if individuals prefer to watch
cinema
at
home
it encourages them to spend quality
time
with their family members. All the family members can sit under one roof to enjoy relentless
movies
.
Thus
, it is apparent why many support
this
view. On the flip side, some people feel that
cinema
houses are the best places to enjoy dramas because a big screen is extremely vital to have a full enjoyable experience.
Due to
vast developments in technological devices 3D and 4D
cinema
screens are available in the market, and these help to feel the actions and scenes more appropriately. Watching
movies
at
home
can not replace the ecstatic of viewing films at
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
. In my opinion, it is always
Correct article usage
an individuals
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
personal choice what they prefer, mobile or real
cinema
to watch
movies
. I think that
time
is precious
therefore
, dealing with hectic schedules is a daunting task,
hence
it is an excellent choice to watch
movies
at
home
on Netflix or Hotstar by sitting at
home
.
To conclude
, as per the matrimonials mentioned above, personal choice always matters to choosing a
home
or
cinema
to watch films, but I wholeheartedly believe that movie nights at
home
is a prudent approach because it saves
time
, and money, and helps build strong relationships between family members.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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Balance and Elaboration
Ensure that you present both views and your own opinion in a balanced manner. You've done a good job of discussing both sides of the argument, but further elaboration on your own viewpoint could strengthen your argument.
Specific Examples
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. While you've mentioned platforms like Netflix and technological advances like 3D and 4D cinemas, more detailed examples or personal anecdotes could make your arguments more compelling.
Vocabulary and Sentence Structure
Pay attention to topic-specific vocabulary and variety in sentence structures to enrich your essay further. You've made a good effort, but varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary could enhance the readability and impact of your essay.
Grammar
Review your essay for any minor grammatical errors and try to use a range of grammatical structures accurately. Overall, your grammar is good, but careful proofreading can help eliminate small errors.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, providing a clear outline of the essay.
Paragraph Structure
You've effectively used paragraphs to organize your thoughts, which greatly aids in the reader's comprehension.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the discussed views and reiterates your opinion, effectively closing the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Mobile Viewing
  • Cost-efficient
  • Time-efficient
  • Personalized experience
  • Immersive
  • Cinematic experience
  • Surround sound
  • Collective experience
  • Technical superiority
  • Sensory experience
  • Social hubs
  • Cultural events
  • Distractions
  • Preservation
  • Filmmaking art
  • Cinematographic nuances
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