IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people prefer staying in hotels when they travel, while others prefer renting holiday homes for a short period of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Travelling is one of the most interesting hobbies in society in the modern world. When a lot of travellers prefer staying in a hotel on their holiday, they want to try the services of the resort and experience luxury feeling. Others enjoy renting a residential condo in the local area because it is convenient and helps them save money. Choosing where to stay in holidays depend on how much they have in their pockets. First of all, crew prefer staying in a resort on their holiday because they want to try the services of
this
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 place.
For example
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, when living in a hotel, explorers can stay in a suite with a king bed, a private pool, and free breakfast because hotels always provide a lot of serveices with hoping attract more guests.
Moreover
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, when buying admission to the hotels, travellers
also
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 buy the comfort feelings that they are living in beautiful places and eating plenty of good food.
Secondly
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, people enjoy renting a residential apartment in the local area because it is convenient and helps them save money.
For instance
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, living in a local home, it is easier for the explorers to visit around the area and explore the places deeply.
Furthermore
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, there are
also
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 cheaper to hire a local home than a rich place, so the crew can save more when renting a local building.
Last
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 but not least, choosing where to stay depends on how much they have in their pockets.
While
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 people want to enjoy local foods and shopping in the night market, they
also
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 choose to rent a room in resident home. If they want to have a good outset of expensive place with free breakfast and an endless pool, they can live in a delightful resort. In conclusion, travelling helps people have a wonderful time with their family. Staying in a hotel will help them having expensive experience and be full of service,
while
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 living in a local condo will
also
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 help them save money and make it easier to travel. Travellers will enjoy everything which they have in their budgets.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say more clearly why hotels are good and why holiday homes are good.
task response
Give your own view in a clear way. You say money is the key point, but your opinion should be more direct.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and exact. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are weak. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and all sentences fit that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because word choice and grammar make the meaning less clear.
task response
You discuss both views, so you answer the main task.
task response
You include an opinion about cost and choice, which shows personal view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has four clear body parts with an introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like first, secondly, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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