IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

.In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. .What are the reasons for this? .How people can research this?

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In
this
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 day and age, in many countries, numerous
people
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 are eager to carry out some research about the place where they live there like
buildings
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, households, and so on. It appears
due to
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 some causes like how much they are a pessimist or how much they are curious about their place.
Also
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, they can find
this
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information
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 via the internet, some folk and neighbours, and the elderly. On the one hand, a huge number of
buildings
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 are constructed in all countries and some neighbourhood’s
buildings
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 are older which is a cause of communities’ concerns. First of all,
people
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 after living in a house or building for a
while
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, are curious about the
buildings
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.
For instance
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, they look for some
information
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 about the building age how much it shows resistance against earthquakes, or how it was built solidly.
Secondly
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, they will become pessimist and seek some answers.
As a result
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, some decisions are
then
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 taken about moving to another place or staying there. On the other, they are enthusiastic about their neighbourhood’s history because they want to know what they before were.
For example
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, in our neighbourhood, there were a lot of bars and clubs and all of them disappeared because of some strict rules.
However
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, there is a border variety of methods for finding out some data about
buildings
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 or neighborhoods.
Firstly
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, the internet has changed our lives noticeably so that by a simple search on Google you can find everything.
Although
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 It gives you a vivid imagination about your neighbourhood’s history, it does not give you specific data about your building because it almost has general data.
Secondly
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, folk are more effective in your research by asking some questions.
Thirdly
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, the best source of
information
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 is old
people
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 in a neighbourhood who are packed with a lot of
information
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.
Finally
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, neighbours who have lived in your building more than others will be useful in the investigation. In conclusion,
although
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people
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 are passionate about the history of their building, it will bring them more concerns. Ignorance is bliss.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by maintaining a more clear and consistent flow of ideas from paragraph to paragraph. This can be achieved by using transitional phrases and ensuring that each paragraph smoothly leads to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly mentions the essay topic and outlines the main points you will discuss. Also, ensure your conclusion summarises the essay's key points effectively. While your essay has identifiable sections, refining introductory and concluding statements will enhance its overall clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
In supporting your main points, consider adding more detailed examples and illustrations. While you have attempted to use examples, further specificity and elaboration on these instances can help strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt by elaborating on the reasons people are interested in the history of their houses or buildings, and providing more concrete and varied methods for researching this history. Expanding on both aspects of the prompt will enhance your essay's completeness and depth.
Task Achievement
When presenting your ideas, aim for clarity and precision in your language. Avoid generalisations and ensure that each paragraph conveys a clear, comprehensive idea that relates directly back to the essay question.
Task Achievement
Make use of specific examples to support your claims. These examples should be clearly related to the question and provide insight into how individuals can research the history of their dwellings. Expanding your range of examples will strengthen your essay's relevance and impact.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
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