IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad?

#country #study
Travelling and relocation throughout the world tend to be popular in the 21st century. There are a lot of opportunities opening for people, perhaps it can be an occupation or social benefits and you name it. Reasons for changing
country
 depend on personal needs, but we know everything has its own pros and cons. Let's consider both sites of it. First of all, I’d like to discuss about positive meanings of altering the
country
 for living and studying. Humanity instinctively seeks ways to develop, and relocating to other countries gives mankind some observation of the unknown. At
this
 point, we
unraveled
Change the spelling
unravelled
show examples
 one of the fundamental reasons. As a foreigner, you will face numerous challenges, which give you perspectives to evolve.
Therefore
, a new
country
 and things namely extend your worldview.
As well as
, In education meanings, I noticed some similar structures in universities in their way of tuition, and for that reason, foreign
country
 experience in some scope of science or
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
,
also
 makes your educational background so prized.
On the other hand
, there are a few negative sides to leaving the mother
country
. Home sweet home is one of the statements that
defines
Change the verb form
define
show examples
 to what extent people appreciate and love their
country
.
Firstly
, your family, friends and the rest of your relatives live in your motherland. Movement to another
country
 causes some feelings of loneliness.
In addition
, culture shock may make you frustrated, and lead to some depression. Everyone should carefully think about relocation. Summing up, we have some upwards and downwards of leaving the
country
 to live and study abroad, In point of view, everything has pros and cons, it is up to our readiness to face trouble. But
while
 you haven’t faced it, you can’t say, if is it acceptable or not.
Submitted by kooper507 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Remember to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While you've outlined the general benefits and drawbacks of living or studying abroad, incorporating personal experiences or statistical evidence could greatly enhance your task response and the persuasiveness of your essay.
Language Proficiency
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Although small inaccuracies don't significantly impact your score, refining these aspects can improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your main points more distinctly in paragraphs dedicated to advantages and disadvantages, respectively. This can enhance the clarity and flow of your essay, making it easier for readers to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view, considering both sides of relocating to a new country. This is excellent for the task achievement criterion.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've effectively used linking words to connect ideas and arguments, contributing positively to the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: