IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some environmentalists have advocated building wildlife sanctuaries to protect endangered species. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of doing this.

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It is important to save wildlife from being endangered. A few environmentalists have taken action to protect species from extinct. I will discuss both points of view by including examples. On the one hand, some environmental scientists believe that
animals
Use synonyms
 kept in
zoos
Use synonyms
 are very safe.
Moreover
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, it helps them with better medical facilities and keeps them safe from diseases
as well as
Linking Words
 other
animals
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 and hunters.
For example
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, in the UK there are hundreds of
zoos
Use synonyms
 to protect the wildlife and give them better breeding environments. They think that that way they can save any
animals
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 from extinction
such
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 as the Java Tiger. Some environmental specialists
also
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 add that in the future number of
animals
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 will increase and they can introduce new
animals
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 through
this
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 method.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others think that
this
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 method will have more drawbacks.
Also
Linking Words
, it will destroy biodiversity and their food chains.
Animals
Use synonyms
 are habituated in wild environments, if we keep them in
zoos
Use synonyms
 they will lose their natural activities like breeding and eating.
For Instance
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,
last
Linking Words
 year a study was conducted by Cambridge University on how effects
zoos
Use synonyms
 on wildlife.
Furthermore
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, those
animals
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 have been living for millions of years in the wild. when species are living in the wild they can fulfill their physical needs they can go anywhere they want. In conclusion, I would say that both have good points and drawbacks.
Animals
Use synonyms
 have lived wild for millions of years they have food chins and survival abilities it has been developed over the thousands of years. I think species in the wild would be better and healthier.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence variety and complexity to enhance readability.
task achievement
Ensure examples are directly linked to the points being made for stronger support and relevance.
task achievement
Revise for minor grammatical inaccuracies to polish your essay.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion on both views regarding wildlife sanctuaries.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • eco-tourism
  • wildlife conservation
  • sanctuaries
  • habitats
  • ethical concerns
  • dependency
  • preservation
  • educational opportunities
  • economic benefits
  • isolation
  • intervention
  • overcrowded
  • finite resources
  • behavioral changes
  • conservation efforts
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