In the present day, many students are keen to learn more than the main subjects can provide, while some believe that it is essential for students to focus solely on studying for a qualification. In this essay, the advantages of both notions will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.

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In the present day, many
students
are keen to learn more than the main
subjects
can provide,
while
some believe that it is essential for
students
to focus solely on studying for a qualification. In
this
essay, the advantages of both notions will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, There are several benefits that main
subjects
in
university
can offer.
Career
opportunities are the main key, as most companies always use a qualification degree from
university
.
For example
, achieving a high grade from
university
in the main subject could be a guarantee for a higher-paying
career
. Attention only to the main
subjects
helps learners to stay
in focus
Change preposition
focused
show examples
, resulting in better scores and understanding of the context deeply without attraction from other interests.
Additionally
, the main
subjects
could be more helpful for
further
study in a doctoral degree in the future, because it is a simple standard that society requires and put them in curriculum.
On the other hand
, giving all
students
time in the main
subjects
had some negative effects. by reducing time for exploring self-desire in a
career
.
For instance
, some individuals experience a struggle in choosing an occupation even if they have a high degree qualification, causing a false
career
pathway that some feel dissatisfied with in the future. Learning outside main
subjects
provides survival
skills
in society that
university
could not,
such
as culinary
skills
, repairing machines and vehicles, especially communication
skills
, which
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a useful essential
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
in every moment of working life.
Moreover
,
students
tend to enjoy lessons that they choose by themself, decreasing stress in the learning process. In summary, Focusing on the main
subjects
in
university
offers many advantages including easier getting high scores in class without attraction,
career
opportunities and the basis for
further
education.
In contrast
, many
students
gain advantages from learning outside the
university
or more than main
subjects
such
as acknowledgement of self-desire occupation and communication
skills
. I firmly agree that the benefits of studying outside main
subjects
far outweigh solely focusing on the main
subjects
.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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task response
Your essay offers a balanced discussion on the topic, clearly presenting both perspectives. However, to improve task response, provide more specific and varied examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-organized, ensure that all sentences within your paragraphs are closely linked to the main idea. This will enhance coherent development of ideas throughout your essay.
introduction conclusion
You have a well-defined introduction and conclusion that frame your essay effectively.
supported main points
Your main points are clear and generally well-supported, especially with the contrast between focusing solely on main subjects and exploring beyond them.
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