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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The range and quality of food that we can buy has changed because of technological and scientific advances. Some people regard this change as an improvement, while other believe that it is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#range #quality #food #advances #people #change #improvement
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Due to
 advancements In
technology
 and science, the variety and quality of
food
 that we can purchase have different. Few individuals believe that
this
 Is called a change
on the other hand
, others argue that It It injurious.
This
 essay will discuss both the views
as well as
 my opinion In upcoming paragraphs. To commence with the former notion, Nowadays many people want a range of
products
 In a single category of
food
 and want high-quality standards. To explain It, the majority of the companies which deal In manufacturing In the
food
 industry have advanced machinery, and using
this
technology
 they produce more and more variety of
products
 In various packaging.
Moreover
, they make sure of the quality standards of the Item and whether It Is good for health or not.
For example
, a survey conducted by The University Of Texas indicates that 75% of United States citizens want more than 5 varieties or flavours In a single
food
 Item which has been sold In supermarkets across the country. Shifting towards the latter notion, using scientific chemicals and
technology
while
 producing
food
products
 Is very hazardous for Its consumers. To explicate,
while
 making eatable Items companies use scientific flavours In Them for better tests
however
, many organizations use robots for packaging because of It Is looks perfect and trendy.
For Instance
, a new headline published by The Times Of India shows that 95% of companies use artificial colours & flavours for their
products
 and It may cause different types of Illnesses or cancer as well.
To conclude
,
although
 scientific advances and
technology
 provide a range of Items yet, eating those kinds of
food
 may cause serious illness. I believe in avoiding factory-made
food
 and
instead
 trying to eat healthy homemade
food
.
Submitted by birenp046 on

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Structure & Support
Ensure all paragraphs are well-developed and each discusses a clear main idea. Some areas seemed to need further explanation or more detailed examples.
Grammar & Spelling
Keep an eye on spelling and grammar. Small errors (e.g., 'tests' instead of 'tastes', 'different types of Illnesses or cancer as well') can distract readers from your argument.
Linking & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs for better fluency.
Vocabulary Range
To enhance clarity, avoid repetitive phrases and aim to use a variety of vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly.
Argument Balance
When discussing both views, try to remain neutral until your conclusion. This will make your argument more balanced and your personal opinion more impactful at the end.
Introduction
Good use of an introductory sentence that outlines the topic and your essay's structure.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes both views and your personal stance, demonstrating a clear understanding of the essay requirement.
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