IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

the chart below showes the avrege monthly expenditure by brithish households in three years

#showes #avrege #expenditure #brithish #households #three #years
The given bar chart describes the average monthly spending that was consumed by people in the UK in three decades ( 1990 , 2000 and 2010). Units are measured in
pounds
 sterling.
Overall
 , there is indisputable evidence that almost all types of expenditure were the greatest in 2010 , compared to the years 1990 and 2000 . At first , in 1990 , renting was the most used by British people , showing about 450 sterling
pounds
 ,
while
 utility bills were the lowest ( just under 100 ). As far as the next decade's spendings are concerned , it is worth mentioning that renting and utility bills are the highest and lowest as they were in 1990. The former is just above 500 ,
whereas
 the latter is nearly 90 sterling of
pounds
. Looking at the chart in more detail , in 2010 , renting shows the highest percentage of expenditure , illustrating 600
pounds
 sterling. As for the smallest proportion of spending, Residents of the UK spent 100
pounds
 sterling on entertainment.
Submitted by fatimahalsalman215 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Overview
Provide a more detailed overview at the beginning, mentioning key trends and changes over the decades.
Conclusion
Incorporate a conclusion or summary to effectively end the essay, reinforcing your observations.
Developing Ideas
Consider describing changes and trends between decades more explicitly, highlighting increases or decreases in specific categories.
Lexical Resource
Improve the range and accuracy of your vocabulary to more precisely describe trends and figures.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and ensure consistent punctuation usage.
Task Response
Provided a clear analysis of the data across three decades.
Supporting Details
Illustrated trends with specific figures and categories, enhancing the descriptive quality of the essay.
Coherence
Maintained a logical flow of information, making it easy to follow the progression over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: