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Band 6

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the country side. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#city #life #country #side
Some
people
 opine that it is better to live in a
city
.
However
, others state that the different opinions on it. In my view, it would be better to live in a
city
, and I will discuss the pros and the cons in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, living in a
city
 is good because you can go to a facility if you want quickly. Life is wonderful and
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
.
Furthermore
, in a big
city
, you can see a lot of companies that are hiring staff.
Therefore
, more and more
people
 would like to live there.
For example
, my ex-job which was an analyst at Taipei Fubon Bank was in Taipei
City
. Almost all of my co-workers were from different locations in Taiwan. They moved here, because of their careers. Salary in
capital
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the capital
a capital
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city
 is much higher than in other places.
On the other hand
, the countryside is not the place
people
 would like to live in,
due to
 inconvenience.
However
, there are some good things in the countryside,
such
 as fresh air, quiet surroundings, trees, and so forth.
As a result
, some part of
people
 like
this
 environment. They have lived in that sort of place for a long time. In a nutshell, I would like to say no matter where you live, your
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
 must have some merits and demerits. In a
city
, you can have a lot of fun there, and
people
 like to go there
for working
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to work
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.
However
, in a remote area, you will feel more quiet,
nature
Change preposition
with nature
show examples
, wildlife, etc. It depends on your preference. In my perspective, it would be better, if you chose a
city
.
Submitted by edward300225 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion by providing more detailed examples and explanations for both city and countryside living.
Task Achievement
Expand on your conclusion to more clearly reflect on the arguments made, providing a more definitive stance based on the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a broader range of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to add complexity and depth to your writing, as this can improve readability and engagement.
Introduction
You clearly introduced the topic and provided a clear thesis statement.
Supporting Examples
Good use of examples to support your points, especially the personal example about job opportunities in Taipei.
Task Response
You successfully discussed both viewpoints before stating your personal opinion, meeting the requirement of the task.
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