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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the country side. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 opine that it is better to live in a
city
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others state that the different opinions on it. In my view, it would be better to live in a
city
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, and I will discuss the pros and the cons in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, living in a
city
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 is good because you can go to a facility if you want quickly. Life is wonderful and
colorful
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colourful
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, in a big
city
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, you can see a lot of companies that are hiring staff.
Therefore
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, more and more
people
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 would like to live there.
For example
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, my ex-job which was an analyst at Taipei Fubon Bank was in Taipei
City
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. Almost all of my co-workers were from different locations in Taiwan. They moved here, because of their careers. Salary in
capital
Add an article
the capital
a capital
show examples
city
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 is much higher than in other places.
On the other hand
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, the countryside is not the place
people
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 would like to live in,
due to
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 inconvenience.
However
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, there are some good things in the countryside,
such
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 as fresh air, quiet surroundings, trees, and so forth.
As a result
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, some part of
people
Use synonyms
 like
this
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 environment. They have lived in that sort of place for a long time. In a nutshell, I would like to say no matter where you live, your
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
 must have some merits and demerits. In a
city
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, you can have a lot of fun there, and
people
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 like to go there
for working
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to work
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.
However
Linking Words
, in a remote area, you will feel more quiet,
nature
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with nature
show examples
, wildlife, etc. It depends on your preference. In my perspective, it would be better, if you chose a
city
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.

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Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion by providing more detailed examples and explanations for both city and countryside living.
Task Achievement
Expand on your conclusion to more clearly reflect on the arguments made, providing a more definitive stance based on the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a broader range of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to add complexity and depth to your writing, as this can improve readability and engagement.
Introduction
You clearly introduced the topic and provided a clear thesis statement.
Supporting Examples
Good use of examples to support your points, especially the personal example about job opportunities in Taipei.
Task Response
You successfully discussed both viewpoints before stating your personal opinion, meeting the requirement of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • metropolitan
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • pollution
  • congestion
  • fast-paced
  • idyllic
  • community cohesion
  • cultural diversity
  • amenities
  • lifestyle
  • employment opportunities
  • environmental quality
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