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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK

#pictures #show #information #income #food #clothes #city #uk
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The pictures give data regarding average earnings and spending on
food
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 and
clothes
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 by an average family in a town in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that in 2010 and 2013, expenditure on
food
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 and
clothes
Use synonyms
 was similar and average profits were higher than 20000.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in both years, meat and fish, fruit and vegetables altogether accounted for just over half of the total percentage of expenses. As for the table, the average earnings were 29000 and 25000, in 2010 and 2013 respectively. Spending on
food
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 and
clothes
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 was 14000 in 2010. In 2013, the expenditure was higher than
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 one by 1000, at 15000. Turning to the pie charts, in 2010,
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
fruit
Change preposition
for fruit
show examples
 and vegetables, meat and fish made up 26% and 29% respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for
clothes
Use synonyms
, dairy products and other
food
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 comprised 15%, 18% and 12% sequentially. In 2013, the proportion of fruit and vegetables made up 30%. Meanwhile, spending on fish and meat was 23%. The percentages of other products were just under 20%. The lowest share was witnessed in
clothes
Use synonyms
 which accounted for 13%.
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Coherence & Cohesion
You’ve done well in presenting the data comprehensively; however, to enhance clarity, consider adding more decisive transitions between different sets of data and points for smoother reader navigation.
Task Achievement
You could enrich your response by integrating a brief conclusion or summary at the end, encapsulating the key findings from the data.
General Advice
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch and correct minor grammatical inaccuracies and to improve overall readability.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear overview and made relevant observations, effectively linking income and expenditures.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a good attempt at dividing different sections and making comparisons between the years.
Specific Analysis
Your detailed examination of the provided pie charts and ability to extract and articulate specific percentages is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • average income
  • spending habits
  • proportion
  • cost of living
  • economic changes
  • cultural factors
  • standard of living
  • economic health
  • leftover income
  • savings
  • expenses
  • financial trends
  • value for money
  • economic forecasts
  • significant increase/decrease
  • spending patterns
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