In some areas of the US, a "curfew" is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a partcular time at night unless they are accompained by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
In some regions of the US,
compulsary
rules exist about curfew and youngsters must not Correct your spelling
compulsory
to
be out of the Change the verb form
apply
doors
after a certain time
at night unless they spend time
with adults. I strongly agree with this
statement, because the majority of crimes occur at night and midnight
, also
, it may have bed
consequences on Correct your spelling
bad
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
and future.
Nowadays, people heard
about different crimes Wrong verb form
hear
that
the majority Correct word choice
and
of
occur at night. Youngsters, try to do Change preposition
apply
somthing
exciting without Correct your spelling
something
focussing
on Correct your spelling
focusing
their
consequences like Change the word
the
struggle
and driving when they Wrong verb form
struggling
drunk
Add a missing verb
are drunk
,
because they have no Remove the comma
apply
experiences
and would rather have Fix the agreement mistake
experience
joyful
Add an article
a joyful
time
. These kinds of activities can be harmful for
other community and their Change the preposition
to
life
. As a result
, The government of US
make strong Correct article usage
the US
regulation
to make Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
limitation
for being out of the Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
doors
at midnight
. For instance
, teenagers who are under 18 in the UK can not spend time
out of the doors
after 11 midnight
without thier
Correct your spelling
their
parents
.
In addition
, spending time
out of the doors
after midnight
is not purposeful
activity. Correct article usage
a purposeful
In other words
, by being out of the doors
at midnight
the
waste their Correct your spelling
they
time
and do not do any useful activities. As a consequence
, it will be their habbit
and Correct your spelling
habit
the
can not Correct your spelling
they
abondon
Correct your spelling
abandon
this
activity and it may affect their education efficiency and family relationships. Due to
that if they spend time
out of the doors
with adults, parents
can control them to prevent bad effects on thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
. For example
, in Iran, adolecense
spend most of their Correct your spelling
adolescence
adolescents
time
in street
to find Add an article
the street
girl
or Correct article usage
a girl
boy friend
and it can be seen they can not concentrate on their professional Correct your spelling
boyfriend
life
.
In conclusion, spending time
out of the doors
at midnight
is dangrous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
acitivity
for teenagers unless spend Correct your spelling
activity
time
with their parents
, because the
may perpetrate crime or do harmful activities, Correct your spelling
they
moreover
, they can not focus their professional life
because they waste time
and parents
can controlthem
.Correct your spelling
control them
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Grammar & Accuracy
Try to avoid making simple grammatical errors, as they can slightly distract from the clarity of your arguments. Consider revising phrases like 'must not to be out of the doors' to 'must not be outdoors' for increased accuracy and fluency.
Lexical Resource
Consider more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas. This can help make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Development & Support
While your essay provides a strong position and relevant examples, strive to develop your ideas further with deeper analysis and more varied supporting details. This can enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear and coherent structure by linking your paragraphs and ideas more explicitly. Using phrases that signal contrast, addition, or cause and effect can help achieve this. For example, transitions like 'furthermore', 'on the other hand', or 'as a result' can provide clearer connections between your points.
Position
You took a clear stance on the topic and maintained it throughout the essay, which is excellent for achieving task completion.
Support & Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, such as referencing the situation in the UK and Iran, which helps to ground your arguments in real-world contexts.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay effectively, reaffirming your position and the main reasons behind it. A strong conclusion is crucial for a cohesive and persuasive essay.
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