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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows data about the average Saturday sales of two bakeries in London in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows data about the average Saturday sales of two bakeries in London in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#data #saturday #sales #two #bakeries #london #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart compares the average sales of two bakeries which are Lovely
Loaves
Use synonyms
 and Bernie’s
Buns
Use synonyms
 on Saturday in London in 2010. The graph represents their sales including:
doughnuts
Use synonyms
 and toasted
sandwiches
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
cookies
Use synonyms
 and another five types of bread.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
Berine’s
Use synonyms
 Bun's bakery is generally the most popular and busiest bakery. In six items,
Berine’s
Use synonyms
Buns
Use synonyms
 bakery sold more than Lovely
Loaves
Use synonyms
. On the whole, toasted
sandwiches
Use synonyms
, and salads
as well as
Linking Words
 fresh
loaves
Use synonyms
 were not as popular as sweet items,
such
Linking Words
 as
doughnuts
Use synonyms
 ,
cookies
Use synonyms
 and cakes. In terms of
Berine’s
Use synonyms
Buns
Use synonyms
,
doughnuts
Use synonyms
 were at the top of the list at just under 140.
Cookies
Use synonyms
 and cakes are the next best sellers on Saturday, with around 115 and 100.
Berine’s
Use synonyms
Buns
Use synonyms
 rolls were not as quite as popular crips,
moreover
Linking Words
 at approximately 78. Fresh Loves was sold exactly at 40 which is sixth
place
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, bottom of the list is a salad which was not as well-liked as toasted
sandwiches
Use synonyms
 with just under 20 and over 20. As regards Lovely
Loaves
Use synonyms
,
doughnuts
Use synonyms
 were in first
place
Use synonyms
 like Bernie’s
Buns
Use synonyms
 in the first
place
Use synonyms
 that were not equal, in fact, Bernie’s
Buns
Use synonyms
 in
Doughnuts
Use synonyms
 was more well-liked than Lovely
Loaves
Use synonyms
. In order, cakes and
cookies
Use synonyms
 are in second and third
place
Use synonyms
 with about 77 and 66,
rolls
Correct word choice
and rolls
show examples
 and fresh
loaves
Use synonyms
 are exactly equal at about 45. In the end, the
last
Linking Words
 one on the list is toasted
sandwiches
Use synonyms
 with just under 20.
Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words loaves, buns, doughnuts, sandwiches, cookies, berine’s, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • lowest point
  • trend
  • seasonal effects
  • sales performance
  • average sales
  • comparison
  • significant difference
  • influence
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