IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #center #redevelopment
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The maps provide information about the developments which will take place in the
sports
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 college in the
future
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
centre
Use synonyms
 is going to become dramatically bigger by adding many various parts. To achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal, outdoor courts should be knocked down to make some more space for the construction of new facilities. The
centre
Use synonyms
 part of
this
Linking Words
 place will remain approximately the same, the only change is about its gym above the 25m pool which will have more space in the
future
Use synonyms
 plans. The entrance will remain the same, but a café and
also
Linking Words
 a shop for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 products will be added to the right and left side of the entrance respectively. In the
future
Use synonyms
, there will be two more changing rooms in both corners in the south part of the
centre
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
sports
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 hall is going to be built exactly next to the seating room. We see in the
future
Use synonyms
 layout of
this
Linking Words
centre
Use synonyms
, two dance studios are going to be added on the right side. The
last
Linking Words
 change that
this
Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 will experience is the leisure pool on the left side of the map where people can enter from the new changing room at the left corner.
Submitted by Sarlakehsan79 on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, it would be beneficial to enhance the introduction and add a concluding sentence to summarize the redevelopment plans.
coherence cohesion
The essay highlights all the key changes accurately, but consider incorporating more linking words and phrases to improve the flow and cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
language
Be careful with minor grammatical errors. For example, "centre part" could be replaced with "central part" for better clarity. This will make your writing more polished.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the major changes and improvements that are planned for the university sports center.
coherence cohesion
The use of comparative language such as "bigger" and "more space" helps to convey the scale of the redevelopment effectively.
logical structure
The structure is logical and information is well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow the planned developments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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