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Writing Samples
Band 5

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society？

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Nowadays, citizens are more willing to live individually or in a small family
unit
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. Based on my observations, technology has advanced in the past few decades. It encourages
people
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 to live independently or in tiny family units. With
this
Linking Words
 trend, it will possibly
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 negative effects on
society
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, communication technology improved a lot.
People
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 can easily talk with others by calling them. There is no
necessarily
Change the word
necessary
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 need to live in a big family anymore.
For instance
Linking Words
, I have a family group
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 WhatsApp. My sister is living in Taiwan.
However
Linking Words
, we still have a lot of
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, distance
no
Add a missing verb
is no
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 longer a barrier in families.
Therefore
Linking Words
, with the technology improved nowadays, it allows residents
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
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 individually or in a tiny family
unit
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living alone or in a small family
unit
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are
Verb problem
can
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 possibly bring negative effects on
society
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. It will let
people
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 abandon the style of staying in
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 family, which
weaken
Correct subject-verb agreement
weakens
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 the bond of family.
Thus
Linking Words
, when parents
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 old, they will require more help from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, it escalated the burden
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the government.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are lots of elderly being sent to
caring
Replace the word
care
show examples
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
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 in Hong Kong.
Those
Correct determiner usage
The
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 elderly have no ability to afford the payment of the
caring
Replace the word
care
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 centre, which requires the government to provide allowances for them.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the trend of populations tend to live individually or in a small family
unit
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 will bring detrimental effects to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
, new generations are more desiring to live alone or in a small family
unit
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. It
affect
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affects
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 the bonding of
people
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 in
society
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 and could
harming
Change the verb form
harm
be harming
show examples
 peoples’
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.

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Introduction
Consider enhancing the introduction by clearly stating the causes and effects you will discuss. This sets a clear expectation for the reader.
Supporting Evidence
Expand on your examples to show a deeper analysis of the causes and effects. More detailed examples can better support your points.
Cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of connectors and transition phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This helps in making your essay more coherent.
Balanced Argument
In discussing the effects on society, ensure to explore both positive and negative outcomes to provide a balanced view.
Conclusion
When concluding, restate the main points briefly and clearly. A strong conclusion reinforces your arguments and leaves a lasting impression.
Use of Examples
Good use of technology as an example to illustrate why people prefer living individually or in small family units.
Understanding of Topic
You've effectively identified a significant trend and its potential societal impact, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nuclear family
  • extended family
  • individualism
  • urbanization
  • economic independence
  • financial autonomy
  • personal freedom
  • societal values
  • cultural shift
  • technological advancement
  • solitary living
  • virtual connectivity
  • demographic trends
  • population dynamics
  • aging population
  • lifestyle choices
  • social structures
  • interpersonal relationships
  • privacy
  • household management
  • economic opportunities
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