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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per persion in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per persion in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
#carbon #dioxide #emissions #persion #kingdom #sweden
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The provided chart depicts
mean
Correct article usage
the mean
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 carbon dioxide
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
 to each individual in four countries, including
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, Italy, and Portugal
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1967 to 2007. The trend of the given chart are gradual increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Italy and Portugal,
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
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declinement
Correct your spelling
decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom, and volatility
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
. At the start of the time frame, Italy and Portugal
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 the least amount of air pollution emissions
by
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apply
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around 4 and 1.5
tonnes
Use synonyms
 respectively. Both
emmissions
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emissions
 skyrocketed in 1977 to about 6
tonnes
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 in Italy and 2
tonnes
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 in Portugal.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, those countries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 increased gradually and reached around 7
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in Italy and 5
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in Portugal.
United
Correct article usage
The United
show examples
 Kingdom and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 showed
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
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 by having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2007, compared to 1967.
However
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
's CO2 production surged between 1967 and 1977,
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 approximately 8
tonnes
Use synonyms
 to 10
tonnes
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.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 it decreased gradually and reached around 6
tonnes
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the time frame.
Submitted by ridhokholis9a on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 4 times.
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