In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?

#countries #people’s #weight #levels #health

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Nowadays in some

countries

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countries,

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people

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have become more obese

while

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contrast

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contrast,

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their health

have

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has

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significantly decreased.

This

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due to

Linking Words

the fact that fast

food

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and unhealthy eating

habits

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have become common among individuals. It can be dealt with in different ways like promoting and educating

people

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on following a healthy diet. I would argue the main reason for obesity is the fact that fast

food

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has become more common and easily accessible for

people

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. Fast

food

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joints have made their

food

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cheaper, faster and convenient for

people

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to have it on the go.

For instance

Linking Words

, a busy

employe

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employee

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with time

constrains

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constraints

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opts to eat KFC for lunch over

home cooked

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home-cooked

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healthy

food

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due to

Linking Words

the fact that

its

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it is

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readily available and he does not have to go through the hustle of preparing it,

hence

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can lead to putting on unnecessary weight. To cope

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apply

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with

this

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problem there are

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apply

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several solutions.

Firstly

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, influencing

people

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to eat healthy and

incorporating

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incorporate

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workout

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workouts

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Change preposition

into

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their daily routine.

Secondly

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, companies should recognize and appreciate employee with healthy

lifestyle

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lifestyles

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and reward them with a raise,

this

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can motivate everyone in the company to improve their

habits

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Finally

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people

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should be educated

with

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about

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the paramount importance of a healthy lifestyle and the complications that weight gain can lead to.

For example

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, in a survey conducted by The Times of India, 75% of employees improved their eating

habits

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after the company introduced

increase

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an increase

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in pay for

people

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who bring

home cooked

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home-cooked

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food

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for lunch. In conclusion, healthy eating

habits

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and working out can prevent

significant

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a significant

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amount of

people

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from increasing weight which will take a toll on their

healthy

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health

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later in life.

Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on Thu Apr 18 2024

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General advice

To enhance your score further, try to enrich your essay with a wider range of complex sentence structures and vocabulary. This will showcase a higher level of English proficiency.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduce clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea you will discuss. This improves the reader's understanding and the essay's organization.

Task achievement

Support your points with more detailed and varied examples. Personal anecdotes or broader societal examples can add depth to your essay.

Thesis Statement

You have a strong thesis statement that outlines the essay's structure.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good use of paragraphing to separate and organize ideas clearly.

Task Achievement

You effectively address both parts of the question: causes and solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?

Your opinion

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in oder to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter - Say which part- time course you booked - Explain why you need to cancel your booking - Ask about booking a different course

Do you agree or this agree with this following statement ? High schools should allow students to study the courses that students want to study.

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question

As a part of their education, individuals should spend a period of time living or working in another country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?