In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?

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Nowadays in some

countries

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countries,

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people

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have become more obese

while

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contrast

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contrast,

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their health

have

Change the verb form

has

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significantly decreased.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that fast

food

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and unhealthy eating

habits

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have become common among individuals. It can be dealt with in different ways like promoting and educating

people

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on following a healthy diet. I would argue the main reason for obesity is the fact that fast

food

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has become more common and easily accessible for

people

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. Fast

food

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joints have made their

food

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cheaper, faster and convenient for

people

Use synonyms

to have it on the go.

For instance

Linking Words

, a busy

employe

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employee

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with time

constrains

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constraints

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opts to eat KFC for lunch over

home cooked

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home-cooked

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healthy

food

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due to

Linking Words

the fact that

its

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it is

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readily available and he does not have to go through the hustle of preparing it,

hence

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can lead to putting on unnecessary weight. To cope

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apply

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with

this

Linking Words

problem there are

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apply

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several solutions.

Firstly

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, influencing

people

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to eat healthy and

incorporating

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incorporate

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workout

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workouts

show examples

Change preposition

into

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their daily routine.

Secondly

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, companies should recognize and appreciate employee with healthy

lifestyle

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lifestyles

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and reward them with a raise,

this

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can motivate everyone in the company to improve their

habits

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Finally

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people

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should be educated

with

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about

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the paramount importance of a healthy lifestyle and the complications that weight gain can lead to.

For example

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, in a survey conducted by The Times of India, 75% of employees improved their eating

habits

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after the company introduced

increase

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an increase

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in pay for

people

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who bring

home cooked

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home-cooked

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food

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for lunch. In conclusion, healthy eating

habits

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and working out can prevent

significant

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a significant

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amount of

people

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from increasing weight which will take a toll on their

healthy

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health

show examples

later in life.

prakasharjun1998Thu Apr 18 2024

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General advice

To enhance your score further, try to enrich your essay with a wider range of complex sentence structures and vocabulary. This will showcase a higher level of English proficiency.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduce clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea you will discuss. This improves the reader's understanding and the essay's organization.

Task achievement

Support your points with more detailed and varied examples. Personal anecdotes or broader societal examples can add depth to your essay.

Thesis Statement

You have a strong thesis statement that outlines the essay's structure.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good use of paragraphing to separate and organize ideas clearly.

Task Achievement

You effectively address both parts of the question: causes and solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?

Your opinion

Nowadays many students choose to study abroad at university level. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

Some people think that young people should spend their free time with their families instead of enjoying outside entertainment. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? prison = dangrous, and consequence Rehabilitation = fix, mental problems

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to The extinction of species and the loss of biodiversity.. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?