In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this is happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
New technology is invested
by
governments in many Change preposition
in by
countries
to tackle with
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. Due to
the increasing demand for efficient and accessible public services
Add a comma
services,
this
will happen in the future. Probably this
may be a useful invest
in Replace the word
investment
government
money.
Starting with the contributory factor that the suppling
of Correct your spelling
supplying
government
occur
, which is the raising of Verb problem
apply
accessible
and efficient Replace the word
accessibility
in
public Change preposition
apply
services
. In other words
, resident
life now Fix the agreement mistake
residents
are
more hustle and bustle because of the Change the verb form
is
increasing
in the economy of many Replace the word
increase
countries
so they need the
Correct article usage
apply
society
services
that are more available and effective. So that the governments should provide better public services
for inhabitants in order to upgrates
their Correct your spelling
upgrade
upgrades
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
, in many countries
nowadays, online portals for government
services
, digital health records, and e-learning platforms are being used by residents to save their time and it also
more convenient than traditional documents.
Add a missing verb
is also
This
will probablyAdd a missing verb
be a
a
applicable Change the article
an
invest
in Replace the word
investment
government
money. To explain, upgrates
the public supply will save people time Correct your spelling
upgrading
so
Correct word choice
apply
that
bring them Correct pronoun usage
which
the
convenience in dealing with Correct article usage
apply
society
problems, which Change noun form
society's
also
a contributory factor to help the economy of a country grow. Add a missing verb
is also
For instance
, in many developed countries
the Add a comma
countries,
society
services
are more develop
than others because inhabitants there do not need to care much about it.
In conclusion, governments in many Change the form of the verb
developed
countries
investing in new technology to deal with the public due to
the increasing demand for efficient and accessible public services
. This
will be a useful invest
for raising the Replace the word
investment
economiy
of the country.Correct your spelling
economy
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Introduction Suggestion
Consider using a clear introduction that directly addresses the question prompt to effectively set the stage for your argument. This will help in providing a more focused response.
Development Suggestion
Clarify and further develop your main points with specific examples or evidence. While you've mentioned examples such as online portals and e-learning, providing more detailed insights on how these technologies impact society positively could strengthen your argument.
Structure Suggestion
Work on structuring your paragraphs to include a clear main idea, followed by explanation and example. This will help in making your argument more coherent and easier to follow.
Grammar and Accuracy
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance the clarity of your argument. Minor inaccuracies can distract from the message you are trying to convey.
Task Response
You have addressed both parts of the task, discussing why governments are investing in new technology and whether it is appropriate.
Content Insight
Your essay reflects an understanding of the importance of technology in modernizing public services and its potential impact on society and economy.
Conclusion Coherence
The conclusion provides a summarization of your argument, reinforcing your stance on the use of government money.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?