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Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many counties are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of government money?

#counties #technology #government #money
In today digital’s era, the new technological device is investigated by many countries in the world in order to deal with the community.
This
 is because, there are some
problems
 with privacy,
security
 and the city’s
problems
such
 as overpopulation, and illegal situations and another reason is to improve their
country
.
This
 makes a high profit and
benefits
 to the
country
 by keeping
security
 or high efficiency.
This
 is very appropriate to invest in technological
devices
 because of their
benefits
.
Firstly
, populous countries, which have some city
problems
such
 as traffic accidents, illegal robbery, and overpopulation, are difficult to control and solve these
problems
 by hand.
This
 is because, the
problems
 which they deal with, have a large amount of information.
For example
, the population is highly increasing day by day so the people’s demand is higher and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job opportunities are fewer.
This
 causes a high rise of employed individuals and homeless, so the robbery rate is higher all over the world. To deal with these
problems
, many governments are investigating and buying new technological
devices
 in order to control and improve the people’s quality of daily life in privacy,
security
 and safety in the
country
.
Therefore
, to deal with the city’s problem, many countries pay and invest in some technologies.
Secondly
, investing money in technologies has many
benefits
 and positive effects on keeping order, and
security
 and improving the
country
’s economic efficiency. The more technologies are investigated, the more easily solving
problems
 and controlling the
country
.
This
 is because, if we have information storage
devices
, we will have the information more quickly and store enormous data, so controlling the
country
 is easier and the robbery rate decreases slowly.
Therefore
, it is an appropriate use of government money to invest in new technological
devices
 to solve
problems
 and deal with the public in the
country
. In conclusion, investing in technology is an appropriate way to solve the public’s
problems
 because of its
benefits
 and
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 effects it gives to us.

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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