More and more prisons are being built to house the world's criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Recently, an increasing number of prisons have been built, consuming a significant portion of government funds.
While
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some advocate for lengthy custodial terms, others argue that substituted factors,
such
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as psychological rehabilitation, should be considered.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why the latter view is a wise decision.
To begin
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with, proponents of long-term imprisonment often express fear of offenders, as they believe
such
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individuals pose a threat to public safety. Because some inmates have committed serious crimes, including murder, sexual assault, or even drug trafficking, which makes their presence near their loved ones or family members is deeply unsettling.
Furthermore
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, incarceration serves as a deterrent to criminal behaviour, encouraging people to think twice before committing a crime.
For example
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, in the USA, there is a law called the Three Strikes Law, which increases the length of a prison sentence with each felony conviction, discouraging repeat wrongdoers.
On the other hand
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, numerous convicts come from disadvantaged backgrounds, whether mental, environmental, or social. To illustrate
this
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, convicting these people without addressing the root causes of their behaviour may lead to recidivism.
Therefore
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, other solutions,
such
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as rehabilitation and community service, to long-term imprisonment can be more effective.
For instance
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, in Norway and the Netherlands, numerous prisons have been shut down
due to
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a significant drop in the violation rate, as authorities adopted a new perspective focusing on addressing underlying issues.
As a result
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, the government has reduced spending on correctional institutions, benefiting both society and the economy.
To conclude
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,
although
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certain felonies,
such
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as homicide and arson, may be unforgivable, I am convinced that a one-size-fits-all approach is not an effective solution. Reform-oriented alternatives for minor and non-violent crimes, including community service and restorative justice programs, can address the root causes of criminal behaviour and offer underprivileged individuals a second chance.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on making your argument clearer by linking your points more distinctly. Try using more transition words.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion. This sets a good foundation for your essay.
task achievement
The examples from Norway and the Netherlands illustrate your points well. They add strong support to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prison
  • crime
  • long-term
  • imprisonment
  • psychological
  • assistance
  • society
  • safe
  • dangerous
  • community
  • risk
  • violent
  • offenders
  • root causes
  • poverty
  • education
  • mental health
  • issues
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • crime rates
  • programs
  • support
  • change
  • behavior
  • successfully
  • integrate
  • potential
  • prisoners
  • countries
  • focus
  • punishment
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