IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting University studies. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage for young people who decide to do this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many countries encourage younger people to have a one-year break after high
school
Use synonyms
 before studying at
university
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 statement has positive and negative sides I will discuss the two in the following paragraphs .
To begin
Linking Words
 with , escaping one year after graduating from high
school
Use synonyms
 , might cause negative consequences ,
for example
Linking Words
 , studies have shown that 40 per cent of young people who one year to get into
university
Use synonyms
 do not back to
university
Use synonyms
 and apply again.
In other words
Linking Words
, working after high
school
Use synonyms
 caused a shortage of excitement to study .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , some of those who want to travel or work after
while
Linking Words
 they regrated , because in specific age all humans have a passion about study after years
this
Linking Words
 feeling might disappear , which makes the return to studying difficult .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,there are
also
Linking Words
 upsides to
this
Linking Words
 view , working or travelling after high
school
Use synonyms
 could add more experience ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , if someone worked in the same field that he planning to study
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, it would be improved and enhance understanding most of the topic , which in turns help to graduate with a high score and excellent knowledge.
In addition
Linking Words
,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 enough time to think and explore new
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 is an effective way to choose a good subject .
To sum up
Linking Words
 ,it is good to take a break in order to gain some experience after high
school
Use synonyms
 ,
however
Linking Words
 , is it essential to not be excessive with time to maintain the energy to back and start
university
Use synonyms
 .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use clear transition words and phrases to connect ideas and maintain a coherent line of argument.
task achievement
Clarify your points by providing more detailed examples or by elaborating on your ideas. This will make your stance clearer and more persuasive to the reader.
language
Keep an eye on grammar and punctuation. Small inaccuracies, such as missing commas or incorrect verb tenses, may affect the quality of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively introduce and summarize the topic.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
There are moments where the ideas are clearly expressed, particularly when discussing the benefits of gaining work experience before university.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadened horizons
  • valuable life experiences
  • personal growth and development
  • engaging with different cultures
  • overcoming challenges
  • acquiring new skills
  • maturity
  • self-awareness
  • work experience
  • employment prospects
  • academic momentum
  • re-adjust
  • study habits
  • academic performance
  • financial aspect
  • pursuing certain activities
  • financial strain
  • university tuition
  • living expenses
  • perceived delay
  • inadequacy
  • anxiety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: