IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet.

#books #people #internet
Nowadays,
due to
 the advancement of technology,
people
 store their
information
 and knowledge on the
Internet
,
while
 in the past traditional methods were used.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument will discuss and the support will be explained. On the one hand, the main merit of storing
information
 on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is availability. In fact, the
internet
 not only provides easy access to a vast amount of
information
 from anywhere
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 world but
also
 allows
people
 to find the answer
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 swiftly. Particularly, today more and more
people
, especially young
people
 would rather find the answer to their questions on the net and avoid seeking advice from their families and friends.
Furthermore
,
However
, it is important to recognize that there are disadvantages associated with collecting
information
 on the
internet
, the most significant of which is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
privacy concerns.If someone shares their personal
information
 on the
Internet
 regardless of the potential risks, they may be exposed to hacking or misuse. Another demerit of keeping knowledge on the
internet
 is In conclusion,
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
by saving knowledge on the
internet
,
people
 easily access to
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of resources , I am of the opinion that the drawback of
this
 circumstance has surpassed its positive effect with regard to the lack of security and dependency.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Focus on developing each paragraph with one clear main idea and supporting it with detailed examples.
Task Achievement
Complete your essay by finishing all your thoughts and arguments. The unfinished points reduce the clarity of your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure to use linking words appropriately and ensure a smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to another.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should clearly outline your viewpoint and summarize the main points of your argument.
Task Achievement
You introduced the topic effectively, outlining the shift from traditional book storage to digital methods on the internet.
Coherence & Cohesion
The acknowledgment of both advantages and disadvantages shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!